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Vicious bullying leads to suicide in Japan

This may be the most flagrant and egregious case of school bullying ever—and teachers laughed. Read:

Kids and laughing teachers bullied suicide teen, on ABCNews.go.com.

More bullying stories:

Downtown Miami charter school sexual abuse and bullying led boy to attempt suicide twice: Lawsuit, on HuffingtonPost.com.

Teacher accused of raping 12-year-old boy, on AOL.com.

Links provided by Lovefraud readers.



26 Comments on "Vicious bullying leads to suicide in Japan"

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  1. G1S says:

    Back from the Edge,

    I was just re-reading what you wrote.

    What did you mean by,

    “THERE IS NO EXCUSE. We should ALL be in control of ourselves…I find little sympathy for people who put forth no effort at all into their ugly and ignorant selves and then complain and whine that their life has gone so rancid. THEY allowed it to happen to them.”?

    I disagree. “We should all be in control of ourselves”? Really? Little kids, too? They can beat the monsters? You truly believe that?

    This thread is about students and teachers bullying a child in Japan to the point that the child committed suicide. Please put your comments up against that and let me know how they fit. Are you saying that this kid should have had been control over what was going on his life and not succumbed to suicide?

    When it comes to psychopathy, we do not “allow” it to happen to us. It happens. That’s why the betrayal is so profound. Most of us cannot identify what is going on and how we are being set up. We also have a substantial block of professionals and society working against us.

    This is not a strength. This is a lack of understanding and compassion and no allowance for people having different personalities, insights, skills, and opportunities nor is there any recognition of the forces that they are up against.

    That being said, I go back to what I posted previous to this. Some people do not identify with the Ps, some do not become victims (and that is not a choice,) and some do manage to break away.



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  2. Back_from_the_edge says:

    G1S: there is no excuse for grown adults knowing they have a problem and doing nothing about it is what I meant. And, yes, as adults we SHOULD be in control of ourselves. If we do not control ourselves, we find someone to do that for us, depending upon the heinousness of our actions.

    I never said we allowed anything to happen to us.
    We were duped and manipulated.

    NOBODY can beat the monster. The trick is staying away from the monster in the first place. That’s the trick. And, yes, I do find little sympathy for spaths/ppaths who have choices just like we do. They have all the same things available to them, for treatment that we do. They chose to be the way they are. If it was not a choice, they would change their behavior.

    I never said children should be in control of themselves. THEIR PARENTS should have enough respect for their children’s lives that THEY remain in control of themselves. I think you completely misunderstood me.

    THEY ARE MAKING A CHOICE TO ACT THE WAY THEY DO BECAUSE THEY LIKE IT. ADULT PPATHS. I said nothing about children. Let me make that perfectly clear. What I said was: we all have choices. I steered clear of the dysfunction “I” grew up in. If I can persist and make it through MY LIFE without blaming my parents and my childhood, I am taking responsibility for my own choices and my own actions and not placing the blame anywhere else, the same way spaths/ppaths do. THAT is the correlation I was trying to impart. I grew up an abused child from the age of 3 years old. I remember it, yes. It has not diminished me in anyway as far as self esteem. BECAUSE I CHOSE DIFFERENT. I stand up and take responsibility for myself and my actions. More importantly, I don’t place the blame for my mistakes on other people in my life. WE ALL HAVE CHOICE. Some day when children recognize they have choices, THEY have choices too.

    There is no excuse for a 48 year old man acting like a 12 year old serial killer. That is what I am talking about. We all have parts of our lives that completely suck. We can choose to stay in that spot or get out of it. It’s that simple. I chose to forsake my childhood and my family and move on. I never really had much ‘family’ anyways, so there was nobody but me to nurture and enlighten myself along the way and I think I did a pretty good job of it. I haven’t purposely hurt people along the way and gloated over it.

    Children become what they are shown, unless when the children get older, they forsake what they have been shown and become something different. That’s called growth and progression. I refuse to stay in my childhood and use it as a crutch and an excuse for everything rotten I want to do in my life, the way ppaths/spaths do.

    Sorry if I put this on the wrong thread. Usually, there is no problem.

    Dupey



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  3. G1S says:

    I was confused. That’s why I asked for clarification.

    But, if parents don’t know about the problem, because the kids are not telling them, or the parents are doing something about it, but it falls on deaf ears by the school administrators who do nothing, which is what happened in this Japanese case, then what?

    By the way, not everybody is aware that they are in dysfunctional situations. Lots of people fail to recognize that what they are living with is unhealthy. They believe it’s normal and that everybody lives like this because it is normal for them. They do not know that they have options.

    If everybody else around them is locked in/trapped and whining, they’re not going to know that they have alternatives. Plus, there are plenty of people who put down therapy and getting help because they think everybody should be able to deal with things. Not everybody embraces the idea of therapy and self-help because they do not understand it or they are afraid of it.

    Lots of people get told that “we are family and this is what family does.” People simply don’t know.

    I’m rather puzzled why you’re not making allowances for these kinds of situations and people. Were that life was that simple – everything is black and white. It isn’t.

    There is no excuse for anybody acting like a serial killer.

    Lucky you that you grew up an abused child and it never diminished your self-esteem in anyway. You must fall into a very small group. I’m not being sarcastic, just realistic.



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  4. Back_from_the_edge says:

    G1S: School bullying is unacceptable and our schools should do like they have laws, now, out here, in California, about school bullying.
    They do not take it lightly here, at all.

    My 10 year old Grand Daughter approached me one day, about a boy, in her class, who was always doing rotten things and blaming it on her. I told her how to take care of the problem because she confided in ME and not her parents, SOBBING HER SOUL OUT. I told her how to go back to school the next day and deal with it. I taught her to extend kindness to the boy even though he had been mean to her. That took him back a hundred steps and she has had no more problem. The school was actually thinking of expelling HER because of the lie this little boy told. I instructed her to show her ‘strong’ side and to persist being the wonderful person she is. I told her she needed to have a personal, frank, discussion with the teacher and make it known that it was not her. It all worked out.

    I know children don’t like approaching their parents because they are ‘afraid’ of what will happen. In my Grand Daughter’s case, her parents took the other side instead of hers and I just knew it wasn’t all true. They were punishing her and she didn’t deserve it one bit. I told her that she should go to school the next day and show what a mature and responsible young lady she is and that just like on television, when the cops are interviewing the criminal, if she had ANY problems, just simply cease further communication and state: “I would like my Grammy, please” and have them call me and I will straighten it out.

    I could TELL something was wrong with her, though, that is the point. She wasn’t acting like her normal, sweet, self and when I had her alone for a few moments, she confided EVERYTHING in me. It’s up to us to teach our children something different. How to react differently. School bullys are no different that grown up spaths/ppaths. In fact, I do believe the bullying children are acting out dysfunction that they are receiving at home.

    You said that not everybody is aware that they are in dysfunctional situations….that’s where the red flag of misery comes in; doesn’t it? That should be telling enough, I would think. Grown up decisions aren’t easy. Sometimes we have to forsake what our hearts are telling us and go with the logical thing. Sometimes the logical thing is the best thing for us, even though our hearts may tell us something different.

    Yes, I agree with you. MOST people fail to recognize that what they are living with is unhealthy. Physically and emotionally. Yes, they believe it’s normal. “I” never have because I had such a strong hope and strength instilled inside me by my Grandfather, the only saving grace I had in this lifetime. I AM in the very small group of survivors who keeps rising to the ocassion. Unfortunately.

    I found the dysfunction I was growing up in so confusing and so unacceptable, that by the age of 8 years old, I already had a ‘life plan’; how’s that? Hm? That was pretty dysfunctional. Filled with all sort of deviance along the way too.

    If someone is in a situation and they are uncomfortable or find themselves wanting to put ear plugs in their ears; if there is constant drama, chaos, etc., that to me has always been unacceptable. I have never asked for much in my life but peace and quiet, void of all the drama and chaos. I would think (for me, anyways), getting away from all that is a ‘second nature’ and/or natural instinct. But I can relate to what you are saying.

    My therapist yells at me all the time for not considering the fact that these are ‘sick’ people, incapable of change. I will never believe that they DO NOT have the same choices as us and well, it doesn’t really matter; does it?

    I am not making allowance for adult spaths because if anyone had a propensity to be like they are, it would be me and I have chosen different with my life. I have been told I am in a very small percentage of ‘survivors’ who has the strength to pull myself up from the boot straps and still cling to all those important virtues in life. I chose different. It wasn’t easy but it is possible. Definitely. If that is a cold hearted, non compassionate point of view, then I guess it is. Because “I” did the homework and “I” changed the tide of the way my life SHOULD HAVE GONE. Instead of whining about it the way this psychopath stalker has done his entire lifetime.

    My PTSD has helped me a great deal, over the course of my life. hahahaha It just keeps growing, but well, in this type of experience, I am sort of glad it’s there, now. It is giving me a ‘PTSD FILE” to stow it away in…I only have to look at the ugly parts now, when “I” want to. hehehe

    “Lucky” isn’t the word for what I have been G1S…
    I believe the Graces of the Angels have always been with me.

    My heart is broken for the children who are lost like this.
    There is no excuse for this at all. None. I can’t imagine the grief these parents must feel.

    Have a happy day G1S, I keep trying to but I am very lazy and sure don’t want to do much. hehehe

    Dupey



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  5. G1S says:

    I am sorry to read that you feel this way, “My therapist yells at me all the time for not considering the fact that these are ‘sick’ people, incapable of change. I will never believe that they DO NOT have the same choices as us and well, it doesn’t really matter; does it?”

    Yes, it does matter because they suffer and how much you’re judging them.

    May the angels continue to grace you.



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  6. Back_from_the_edge says:

    My pyscho has tried to murder me.
    I was sexually abused from the age of 3.
    I have a right to judge them, the way I see it.
    I lived through the struggles they have inflicted on me.
    All of the ppaths/spaths in my life. I somehow found the strength within to rise above it all and move forward with my life. And not one time have I ever blamed my ugliness on my childhood. Not one time.

    I used to counsel juvenile felons for quite a few years. We had a program that diverted them away from the prison system. All I ever heard was ” my parents, this; my parents, that”…like they had no choice at all.

    Well, that’s what life is about: CHOICE.
    We must rise above what we have been handed to become something more. Against all odds. That is the nature of ‘survival’. But to do so lightly and with grace. Not with or by manipulation.

    “I” grabbed a hold of my life, against all odds, and chose something different than dysfunction for my life.

    It doesn’t matter because they will never choose any differently. All I can do is shake my head and walk away and make sure MY LIFE is good. I am not the morality cops to anyone’s life but my own.

    I am not talking about the children now…
    I am talking about the ppath/spath.

    I will always believe it is a conscience choice they are making. Absolutely.

    As for the children who commit suicide from bullying, I think these children need a voice. Our laws should give them protection and a voice.

    May the Angels continue to bless you as well G1S.
    I am not judging the children – I am judging society.

    Dupey



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  7. skylar says:

    Nobody becomes who they are overnight. Like everything, it takes practice. The first step is to decide what you want to become. At some point a spath decides to take a certain perspective and then follows that road, on the way there, he is determined to bring as many people with him as possible. In the book, “Mistakes Were Made, But Not BY Me” it explains that we look for affirmation of our choices, by how many people will do the same thing.



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  8. Back_from_the_edge says:

    skylar: you are right. Nobody becomes who they are overnight. Like EVERYTHING it takes lots of practice.

    The first step IS to decide what you want to be about and what you ARE about. I agree with you, spaths/ppaths DO at some point CHOOSE to take a different perspective and outlook on life than the way we do. Exactly right: inside of them is a bottomless pit of disdain and hatred just seething over.

    I finally have realized that the stalking I am still encountering are little outbursts and fits of thoughts of me. How nice is that? Too bad they are not with love and affection; hm?

    Right, but that affirmation of our choices isn’t always called correctly by the majority, now is it? Sometimes we have to step outside the box and defend the paths we have walked and the choices we have made. At some point we all must stand responsible for our choices. That is the point. We all can say ‘yes’ or we all can say ‘no’. We all have that same option. We all have the choice of petting the kitty or strangling it. Right?

    They are demented and twisted in their logic.
    I just want it all away from me now and let me live in my nice, quiet, little cave and enjoy the solitude. Know what I mean? I don’t have to have any ‘compassion’ for something that has tried to devour my life. Period.

    That’s not hate talking; that’s logic.



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