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Singing about sociopaths

One of Lovefraud’s readers is Joshua Noel Tanner, a young man who is a singer-songwriter. He has personal experience with sociopaths, and has written a song called Old Father Incubus based on his experiences. I found the song to be creative, haunting and accurate. Caution: It includes narration that some readers may find to be triggering.

You can buy the song, and listen to the rest of Joshua’s album, on his band website.

Joshua Noel Tanner band

Or, you can listen to it on YouTube.



42 Comments on "Singing about sociopaths"

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  1. Back_from_the_edge says:

    Joshua: Thank you so much for sharing with all of us. I am so sorry you find this pain and journey before you but know you are not alone. I came from a family just like what you speak of. An extremely dysfunctional environment so I understand a lot of the nuances and things you are referring to.

    You are not being disrespectful by speaking your heart and your sadness and turmoils. If that alienates your father from you, I am sorry for that, but you are entitled to your freedom of expression concerning the ugly parts of life. It’s that freedom of expression that allows us the ability and inspiration to move forward.

    You know who you are and your value and worth as a person. You are so young and vibrant and strong. I just know you would be a friend that I would be absolutely PROUD knowing. You remember that. You have gifts and talents and just need to stay on the path to yourself and stand up for who you are and you will be just fine. Don’t ever let that go…

    I appreciate your feeling concern over leaving your family behind. (((big hugs))) Sometimes all we can do is ‘accept’ and move on lest we sacrifice ourselves and I don’t think that is required of us.

    If I could press a button, I would make all of your confusion and sorrow just disappear and replace it with joy and sunshine.

    Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
    It’s amazing, just like you are.

    Love ~ Dupey xxoo



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  2. ElizabethBennett says:

    I am irreversibly f***ed up in my opinion. I am so fed up with continuing to put myself in these situations with Narcissists. I am at the point where all I want to do is curl up with my dog and sleep. I don’t want to eat or smoke or do anything. I am totally emotionally and psychologically beat down. I have no self worth for myself and I guess that’s why I keep allowing myself to be psychologically abused by these people over and over again. I feel like I am in a downward spiral and don’t know how to pull myself out. Everything is too much for me. I have nothing left to give. I used to want to help everyone all the time and now I just don’t care anymore.

    I started up smoking again when the shit hit the fan and the N uses that as a barometer for how much she is upsetting me. Moving is not an option for me right now. I have to work tonite and I just don’t want to go. It’s hard being in a job when you have to have compassion and I am so tired of faking it. I am just sick and tired of everything but my animals right now.



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  3. Near says:

    Lizzy: *huggles* Remember me, buddy? I’m sorry things are so bad. 🙁 Hang in there. I don’t know what to say… ;(



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  4. ElizabethBennett says:

    Near-thanks. I am about to go to work so I won’t be posting tonite. Thanks for your response-I really appreciate it.



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  5. Joshua you’re to be congratulated!!! You are only as sick as your secrets. I believe that because you chose to go forth and tell the truth or “expose” the monster that you personally have taken the first step on the path to healing and normalcy. I think it’s wonderful that you have chosen to look after yourself and your own feelings. Because the truth in life is that no one else is going to do it for you. In fact your siblings will all have a better chance of normalcy if you strike out and search for peace in your life. What you’ve done takes a boatload of courage. You should feel strengthened by your actions. Courage takes strength. I think it’s the cowards in life that are weak and Bullies. Your father is a big fat bully. Save yourself first young man. Continue forward in strength!



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  6. just-us-5 says:

    Elizabeth-“uses that as a barometer for how much she is upsetting me”… I found out the same about my nh. He got me to smoke when we meet. We both smoked for years. Then when he took the job that keeps him away, he all but quit smoking. Ha, he never was very addicted, just had to keep smoking so I would. Then when he took his new job, I am sure he all but quit to show me…”none of this is bothering me”. I just know he takes delight in watching me grab one cig after another. Ugh

    Hang in there. In the end you’ll be stronger, smarter and oh so wise.



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