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A sociopath claims, ‘We are the uniquely gifted’

Editor’s note: A reader who identified himself as a sociopath recently posted this comment on the Lovefraud Blog, and sent it to me in an email. I am posting this piece because it provides a good description of how sociopaths view themselves, and explains why they are quite comfortable taking advantage of the rest of us. Be sure to read the question I asked him, and his response, at the end.

We are uniquely gifted

“Sociopath” is a misleading word: it implies a disorder, something wrong and unnatural with the person, and this couldn’t be further from the truth. We, the people you refer to as sociopaths, have nothing wrong with us. We are instead, the uniquely gifted. Our gifts have been mischaracterized and maligned and it’s time someone set the record straight.

What the experts call superficial charm, I call having a natural ability to win friends and influence people. What experts call manipulative and conning, I call an affinity for persuasion based upon an innate ability to pinpoint others personality strengths and weaknesses. What the experts decry as a lack of compassion, I call pragmatism and clarity. What experts call a “problem with authority”, I call embracing personal power and celebrating the independent spirit. What experts call “delusions of grandeur”, I call self confidence and optimism. What experts call “shallow emotional affect,” I call freedom from the tyranny of irrational emotions. And finally, while the experts say that guiltlessness is a disorder (because it is the lack of guilt that separates the sociopath, psychopath and Machiavellian from the general population), I say it is the enhanced ability to do the things that build civilizations and keep societies going, the very things that the guilt afflicted shy away from. It is no coincidence that our lack of guilt so often comes with abnormally high intelligence and charisma.

We are born to lead and many of our traits support this conclusion. We are born knowing this and the rest of you know it when you see us. It is these very traits that make us necessary for the survival and success of the human species, especially since the dawn of civilization. It’s why you elect us, follow us, and often give your very lives by our command. Though we are found disproportionally in prisons we are found with even greater frequency in your governments, your corporations, your military. Who else but someone devoid of conscience could order thousands of soldiers to die, regardless of how noble the cause? Who can fire hundreds of workers to save a company from bankruptcy and then sleep peacefully that night? Who can so elegantly tell the lies that must be told, to protect the very people to whom the lies are told? It takes one of us to make those calls, the calls that the rest of humanity cannot make.

And yet a distressing number of us become the very thing you fear us all to be; criminals and abusers. This creates a cycle of ignorance, as all the “sociopaths” identified by the news are killers or wife-beaters, and so we identify this collection of gifts as evil, as pathological, and thus those of us in our proper roles feel the need to disguise ourselves for fear of being labeled evil. A similar cycle of ignorance has kept homosexuals oppressed for decades; homosexuality has been associated with child molesters and perverts, drug use and disease, and it was called “evil” for this.

We are not evil; you simply do not recognize the “good” ones as the same phenomena. Google “sociopath” and all you find are ways to recover from contact with a sociopath, information advising you to run from relationships with sociopaths, and misinformation that will claim that “sociopaths cannot feel love” or that we “cannot think of others as human beings” or that we are “parasitic”.

It is very distressing to discover, for a child who has always known that he was different, that he is a monster… that he is doomed to live a loveless life and become a criminal, that he will never be able to hold a job or raise a family. Indeed, one must wonder how often do one of us accepts the mischaracterization of our abilities and instincts as things to be repressed and rejected due to ignorance? How often do the young among our frequently demonized minority discover what he is, buys into the paranoid misinformation and simply does what he is expected to do, withholding from society the very qualities it needs and secretly wants to maintain itself and imprisoning himself in a state of confusion and needless pain as a result?

What is the so called sociopath? A sociopath is one of your potential leaders, labeled by the fearful and unreasoning masses as something sick and evil. “Sociopath” is a negative label which only serves to further alienate people who simply need to be allowed to embrace their gifts. Getting rid of this misleading term should be the first step towards fully understanding who we are and the role we play in this world. We are not the embodiment of a pathology. On the contrary; we are instead the uniquely gifted.

Editor’s note: I sent the author this question: “How do you justify lying and deception?” His reply:

Justify? Did you forget the “no guilt, no remorse” part already? We have no need to justify the lying, as we don’t see anything inherently wrong with it. Deception is merely a means to an end. Nor is it necessarily malevolent. We simply act in our own self-interest. We know what we want and the easiest way to get it. It’s a gift.



341 Comments on "A sociopath claims, ‘We are the uniquely gifted’"

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  1. Gaza76 – welcome to Lovefraud! I have to say I like the solutions that you suggest.

    In her book, Martha Stout talks about how a tribe of Eskimos dealt with lying, conniving parasites (aka sociopaths.) They kicked them off the iceberg.



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  2. blossom4th says:

    I say put’em all together on a tiny little island and they can lie as intelligently as they please and prove how gifted they are to EACH OTHER!!!



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    • Tea Light says:

      Like Survivor for sociopaths. They’d all be stealing each other’s coconuts and burning with rage that one of them had found a good stick to use as a tool



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      • fight says:

        Interesting comment, Tea Light. The kid that won Survivor this season stated that he had scared himself a little because to win, he had to think and act like a Sociopath towards the other players. He seems like a good kid and this was his second time around. He is very intelligent, though, and I understood what he meant. Sociopaths take the easy way out of everything. Where we might break rules for survival or in order to protect ourselves from them, we feel shame and guilt. But, they consider doing things a feral human might do, as “gifts.”



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        • Tea Light says:

          Feral humans!! That’s a keeper fight! Sociopath Survivor would be Lord of the Flies with all Jacks and no Ralphs or Piggies. They’d all be spearing each other and throwing each other off rocks over a fish within hours.



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          • fight says:

            When you think about some of the books they had us read in school…or my high school had everyone come to the auditorium to watch “Lord of the Flies,” you can’t help but wonder why? Why have developing, young adults read or watch these horrible things? I don’t remember anyone discussing it with us afterwards to work through such disturbing ideas. Young sociopaths in the crowd may have identified with bad people and things and no adults to set them straight.

            So many of our current leaders claim that Ayn Rand is their hero. She was a complete Sociopath! Her books are about Sociopaths and people look up to her beliefs and try to lead our country and their businesses in that direction. Then, they believe they are the “gifted” for being empty shells!

        • Barb says:

          The Easy Way Out…..RIGHT ON

          I have been doing a lot of thinking about the female sociopath in my life from youth. Recall everything now…crystal clear.
          She was unbelievably lazy…no meaning of the word ‘w o r k’. She quit her major at UMass Amherst (physical education) because of the walk between buildings to take classes. She stop skiing with our small group because it was ‘too cold’…even spring skiing. (I imagine it was too much work grabbing equipment, getting it on top of her vehicle, putting all sorts of layered clothing on, strapping on heavy boots and carrying skis around). She was caught eating a pear and raking with one hand at a children’s camp (she got fired for that). She was the lifeguard and they ‘caught on’ to her real quick. Other young adults they hired at that camp saved eating for meals and took work very seriously; they were always raking hard and long. They did all of the cooking and cleaning at camp sites and in the kitchen at the end of the day.
          I always thought it was strange that she avoided any kind of ‘hassle’. Meanwhile the camp’s main philosophy was to ‘Build Character’.



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  3. fight says:

    Wow! So Sociopaths, like Herpes, are the gift that keep on giving! Truly scary.



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  4. Tea Light says:

    I was disturbed greatly by Lord of the F lies when I read itat around 13, 14. I keep coming across references to Rand I know she’s very widely read in the States but much less known in Europe, though I met a Frenchman once who loved her work but he worked for a major US multi national!



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  5. fight says:

    I feel this article could be brought back around weekly. To truly see how highly the sociopath thinks of himself/herself is so fascinating. This “look” into their very inhuman brains could help all victims to read and re-read.



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  6. Stargazer says:

    When someone is bereft of the ability to form relationships, it gives them more drive to devise games and schemes for putting over on people. And in this area they ARE uniquely gifted. It only makes us angry to read that because we assume being “uniquely gifted” connotes something positive. In this case, doesn’t. The fact that the sociopath thinks being “different” means being better is just a symptom of their narcissism. If they were to suddenly develop the ability to feel and to introspect, and realize the depth of their depravity, the realization would probably kill them. But without human emotions, how would they know any better? Part of the disorder is that they cannot see their own narcissism. They have no insight and no capacity for reflection, nor any emotional depth. They are the very definition of unconsciousness. Given this condition, why not see themselves as superior? It gives their shallow lives some sense of meaning and value (from their perspective – not mine).

    We get into trouble when we keep expecting them to suddenly realize the errors of their thinking. This will never happen because it goes against the nature of what they are.



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  7. Babs94540 says:

    I agree, its really, really important for us “normals” to really understand how psychopaths think, and reading such articles from the horse’s mouth (or other orifices further south) is the best way to do that. The “so what?” attitude, sense of superiority and the grandiosity are truly astonishing.

    They truly don’t get the whole concept of “do unto others as you would have others do unto you” and yet a psychopath’s worst nightmare is to be conned, manipulated, used, and discarded by a more brilliant and ruthless psychopath than they are.

    And yes, “Lord of the Flies” is a great example of what happens when psychopaths (emotional children) are running the show; it was and still is a brilliant and chilling story about why the more advanced, mature characteristics of empathy, compassion, altruism, and self-control are absolutely crucial for those whom we elect to have, to keep our civilization from turning into a real-life nightmare scenario like “Lord of the Flies”.

    Oddly enough “The Lord of the Rings” is about exactly the opposite: its about selflessness and altruism. Funny I never thought of that before.



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    • fight says:

      Hi Babs! Your post had some great insights. I have not heard anyone else describe the sociopath’s behavior as “so what” and that made me think. That is so true. Their whole system says “so what?” to everything. I can’t even count the times mine just shrugs when I am telling him something very upsetting. I have a very ill relative in kidney failure. Someone young. I can cry and say how upset I am about it and he will just shrug! When I ask why he is shrugging, he will say, “Nothin’ you can do about it.” That attitude makes my heart hurt. How could anyone shrug about a sick young person? Yet, when he wants a cigarette, it is THE most important thing in the world.

      You are right, we “normals” will never be understood by people that have such a sense of superiority. It’s nice to be reminded that I am normal. Thank you. I will be ruminating about your phrase about the “so what?” attitude statement. So many people say “so what?” to anything they can’t understand. And sociopaths don’t see any want, need, or pain except their own. Thanks for giving me a reminder that is easy to identify with. I need to be thinking “so what” about sociopaths a lot more.



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      • Barb says:

        Fight: good to have a reply to my post.
        When I confronted my sociopath at the end of high school she literally said, “Oh well”. After almost ten years of being lied to, manipulated, humiliated (and even sexually abused) that was her attitude about what she had done. Oh well.



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  8. freedomfare says:

    This self-proclaimed psychopath is confused. He lists the psychopathic traits and equate those who posses them with evil. No, that’s not why psychopaths are evil: they are evil because they use these traits to harm others. Period.
    If a psychopath does not harm anyone, why would anyone care if he is a psychopath? Actually, no one would even know that he is a psychopath!

    We are not protesting the psychopathic traits; we are protesting their use in destroying the lives of innocent people.

    To get into an a philosophical discussion of whether these abstract traits are good or bad is meaningless. He writes: “We are not evil; you simply do not recognize the “good” ones as the same phenomena.”

    Duh, the good one (if there is any good one) is not why we are here!

    Who would be bothered by someone who is good?

    His argument here is akin to a normal guy complaining that we should not call criminals criminals because there are many guys who are not!

    It is like saying do not label knives as bad since there are many knives that are not used in crimes.

    Let me explain myself a little bit more clearly: if someone is smart, we do not get upset because he is smart: we are upset if he uses his intelligence for harming people. To argues that being smart is not the same as being evil is not a smart argument.

    I do not really think this guy is a psychopath. I think he is megalomaniac.

    “Megalomania is a psychopathological disorder characterized by delusional fantasies of power, relevance, or omnipotence. “Megalomania is characterized by an inflated sense of self-esteem and overestimation by persons of their powers and beliefs.”… it was used as an old name for narcissistic personality disorder…” Wikipedia



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    • LouAnn says:

      I think the Narcissism is very loudly apparent in his writing, but I think he is both… he speaks of harming others. It sounds like he was diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder when he was young, so he probably did some things to break rules or harmed people/animals.



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  9. Jay Anthony says:

    In response to the OP:

    What we need are honest leaders, those who believe in progress for the sake of humanity not for the sake of themselves.

    Sociopaths in leadership positions are like immature children who carelessly create environmental disasters,
    holocausts,
    wars in the name of profit and control.
    The fleecing of humanity.

    Sociopaths are NOT intelligent.

    Intelligent beings think of others as well as themselves. Intelligent beings think in terms of win-win situations,
    In terms of positive human development,
    In terms of healthy preservation of their species.

    If all things were governed by sociopaths there would be nothing left.

    Progress would eventually halt in the name of:
    hedonism,
    alcoholism,
    drug addiction,
    sexual exploitation,
    abuse of all kinds,
    self destruction and complete denial.

    Mental illness ,in all of it’s forms, would rule supreme while beginning to decay the human race from the inside out.

    Unfortunately your mental illnesses and deficiencies know no bounds and seem to understand no logic. If left to your kind human evolution ,in every sense of the word, would cease to exist.

    The violence,
    the molestation,
    the rage,
    the murder,
    the war,
    the theft,
    the emotional destruction,
    the laziness,
    the unhealthy obsessions,
    the drug addiction,
    the disconnection,
    the self absorbed fantasies,
    and the lack of self control would eventually ruin your “master plans”.

    If left up to the likes of your kind nuclear holocaust would be imminent. I’m certain of it!

    No my friend WE keep YOU in check remember that. We also keep you from destroying yourselves and the planet. Time to get your facts straight. YOU are the minority and for good reason!

    We would progress just fine without you.

    In fact we would be doing much better at this point without you. Plenty of emotionally stable human beings are gifted with their hands, possess the foresight of invention, excel in academia while also having the drive and wherewithal to succeed concerning human and planetary development.

    Yet another example of your ignorance concerning the power of emotionally stable human beings.

    I feel sorry for you from an assertive point of view. You were born with a very REAL defect. An empty vessel who is completely lost without the likes of emotional human beings.

    So who controls who? Ahh, now there’s some food for thought.



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