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Archive for January, 2012

Shame And Silence

There has been a story in the UK news this week that touched my heart. It’s a story of a ruthless abuser who controlled, abused and manipulated their partner. Sounds familiar?  Two years of mental, emotional and financial cruelty, the physical injuries alone resulted in the need for corrective surgery. The attacks included bleach sprayed in the eyes. Lit cigarettes up the nose. Fractured skull. Cracked ribs. Repeated scalding with an iron and boiling water and attacks with a claw hammer. And yet even after all that ill-treatment, the victim has not lost faith in finding another partner. These are the touching words that reached out to me and brought tears to my eyes:

“It’s going to be difficult when I meet someone who doesn’t understand what I’ve been through. They will no doubt ask about my scars, and I’m not going to lie. My fear is that they’ll wonder what I did to deserve it…”

Overcoming the hype to educate people about sociopaths

Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Eleanor.”

Thank you for your wonderful site Lovefraud! It has helped me tremendously. I am still with my sociopath husband, but am quietly and surely planning on leaving. We have a few children so it really makes it more complicated.

He has now gone up to the next stage in what I’ve read sociopaths love to do. I’m so thankful that I read about it before he did it and know how to react and what to expect! He’s started to call up my family, giving them a sob story about how broken he is and how I won’t get any help (we’ve gone through a few counselors, with no obvious results — as they’ve all been taken in by his acting abilities).

Evidence that negative interactions lead to inflammation

New research documents the link between negative social interactions and the production of proteins that trigger inflammation in the body.

Read Social friction tied to inflammation, on ScienceNews.org.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Scientific research

Statement by woman convicted of fraud

Bonnie Sweeten of Pennsylvania was convicted of faking her own kidnapping and fleeing to Disneyworld. She was sentenced this week to more than eight years in prison for committing $1 million in fraud.

Read: Disney World hoax mom sentenced: Bonnie Sweeten gets 8 years for $1M fraud, on HuffingtonPost.com.

Sweeten read a tearful statement of apology in court, which you can hear below.

      ZPSJ_3.MP3

So, what do you think? Is the apology authentic?

Convicted murderer taunts the public

Danny Robbie Hembree Jr. was convicted of murdering a 17-year-old North Carolina girl last year and sentenced to death. He sent a letter to The Gaston Gazette, boasting about his “life of leisure” in prison, and daring the state to carry out his sentence.

Read the story on HuffingtonPost.com, and be sure to read Hembree’s letter, which is reproduced at the end.

Death Row inmate’s life of ‘leisure’: Danny Robbie Hembree writes shocking letter.

UPDATE:

Hembree’s sister says he is “mentally ill,” and actually bored in prison.

Read Hembree’s sister speaks on taunts, on CharlotteObserver.com.

Posted in: Laws and courts

Happiness: How do we know when we have found it?

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)

We frequently talk on Lovefraud about finding healing and being “happy” again. We discuss the words “forgiveness” and other emotionally charged words that have individual meanings and try to come to some conclusion that we have a definition of these words for ourselves.

I got to thinking about the meaning of “happiness,” and how I will know when I have reached it. What is happiness to me? For me?

After my husband died, there was a period of time when in my profound sadness and grief, that I thought “happiness” could be found in finding another mate and husband. I went seeking that “happiness,” and instead of a life mate and loving relationship with a new man, I found a psychopath who was seeking a new “respectable wife” to cheat on. My feeling of “happiness” was very short lived when I realized he was still “carrying on” with his former mistresses, which essentially amounted to a harem of needy women hoping he would “choose me.”

Mortgage fraud and murder

Aaron Hand, the former president of AFG Financial Group, was convicted of masterminding a $100 million mortgage fraud scheme. Three days ago he admitted plotting to kill a witness in an attempt to stay out of jail for the fraud.

Read Jailed NY fraudster admits plot to kill witness, on ABCNews.go.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: See, smell, taste, hear and feel freedom

Editor’s note: The following essay was submitted by a Lovefraud reader, who has discovered that she can find healing from her encounter with a sociopath through writing.

Awakened Senses

By Nancy Voelker

I see … a field as I drive through the countryside. We had a picnic and laid looking at clouds, bodies entwined.

I smell … smoke from a chimney. His arms were wrapped around me as music played softly and we watched the flames dance.

I taste … butter on my finger as I make dinner in my quiet kitchen. We spent an afternoon boiling lobsters and gorging ourselves. Kissing butter off our chins.

I hear … a song playing as I wander through the bookstore alone. He grabbed me and twirled me, laughing, to that song as he held me close.

Woman charged with abusing child and streaming it over Skype

Jennifer Mahoney, 32, of Manalapan, New Jersey, was charged with sexually abusing a 5-year-old girl and streaming the encounter via Skype to a man in Texas. Read:

Federal complaint against Texas man sparked probe of N.J. babysitter accused of sexually abusing 5-year-old girl on NJ.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Gratitude and Miracles

Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

It is easy to get caught up in the pain and suffering and not see all the good.  Often times, when we are most hurt, it is difficult to see anything but pain and evil.

The world is full of good, selfless giving, love and miracles.  We just need to look for it!  I like a saying I once heard that goes like this…

“You are what you pay attention”

This is true for me because when I am grateful, I feel good.  And when I feel good, I anticipate good things and miracles.  If I am looking for these things, they tend to materialize.

Today I am grateful for all of you here at Lovefraud.

I am grateful that we can share with each other and heal together.