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Archive for November, 2011

BOOK REVIEW: Travis Vining writes about life with his serial-killer father and miracles

Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

Most of us who have tangled with sociopaths have stories that our friends and families find hard to believe. Yet despite what we’ve been through, we know that some of us have been through far worse.

Travis Vining has one of those really bad stories. He’s written the book. Perhaps someday we’ll see the movie.

Travis wrote a series of articles for Lovefraud back in 2008, which you can find in the Travis Vining Category. He will begin contributing articles again, starting tomorrow.

Growing up with a sociopath

Travis’ father is a sociopath. But the man wasn’t just a run-of-the-mill sociopath, one who “only” cheats on his wife, abandons his children and runs up debts. Travis’s father, John B. Vining, is a serial killer. He is now on Florida’s death row for murdering four people.

Kidnapper sues hostages

And now—for the ultimate in entitlement and blaming others:

Kidnapper sues former hostages, says they broke promise, on FoxNews.com.

Posted in: Laws and courts

It’s Up To All Of Us Now


Wow, last week’s course with Dr Robert Hare was absolutely amazing!  A huge eye-opener on how offending psychopaths are measured and dealt with in the criminal justice system – and also an insight in to the astonishing man who has given so much to so many of us. I’m planning to cover more about that in future posts…

This week I’d like to talk about another subject that came up last week. It was also spelled out loud and clear in the Fishead movie that I know many of you have seen. It’s the point that, even though it’s widely acknowledged that a psychopath cannot ‘get better’ (and therefore it stands to reason that we cannot change the way they behave) it’s also true that the vast majority of the population are inadvertently supporting these types of people as they continue inflicting damage on individuals and on society itself.

Making the sociopath accountable: How far do you go?

A Lovefraud reader using the name Dawn H posted the following comment quite awhile ago. At the end of her story, she brings up important questions.

My ex and I grew up in the same small town. We were like Barbie and Ken…expected to marry and live happily ever after. I watched him grow from a very nice guy into a predator and a very evil person in just a few years. After our child was born he started a new wonderful job in a bank and quickly climbed the ladder to success. I put him through law school as he became distant and harsh and wouldn’t touch me. I found out he was bragging at work about secretaries’ children being his. One of his secretaries divorced her husband to sneak around with mine in sleazy motels and the whole time he was telling her that I carried a gun in my diaper bag, etc. I met and befriended her, she started fainting at work, they both got fired, and she moved away. He begged and cried and we did major counseling for a year and I dropped the divorce proceedings thinking he was well.

Teen sues father for negligence, abuse and attempted murder

Christine Logan, an 18-year-old high school student from Utah, files suit against her father in federal court, alleging abuse.

Read Teen sues dad for abuse on ABC4.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

HIV-positive man convicted of sex with 11 women

Ohio law requires people who test positive for HIV to inform potential sex partners. A professional wrestler called “Gangsta of Love” was convicted of putting 11 women at risk.

Read ‘Gangsta of Love’ faces decades in prison on News.Cincinnati.com.

“Beware the tyranny of the weak”

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)

I’m a sucker for “one line philosophies,” and sometimes I hear a new one that makes me perk up my ears and start to ponder on the phrase. Thus the quotes around today’s title.

The person who told me this, and said that she had heard it from her mother, I later came to believe is a psychopath. At the very least, she was incredibly demanding toward me, but all in the name of being “helpless” and therefore entitled to my help or entitled to doing it her way, entitled to inconvenience everyone else for her immediate gratification.

Of course she never shouted at me to get her way, but was very soft spoken and politely demanded that her will be given in to by all in the house. It was all very “passive-aggressive” and “please and thank you,” but demanding none-the-less. We must remember that “passive” aggressive is still aggressive.

Teachers behaving badly caught on tape

Several reports of teachers abusing students have been in the news recently. The following stories were suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

A student in Gloucester County, New Jersey, has been complaining all year that his teacher was abusing him. He finally captured the abuse on his camera phone. The video is shocking.

Teacher who bullied special needs student faces disciplinary action, on ABCNews.go.com.

A teacher and aide in Washington Courthouse, Ohio, were verbally abusing a 14-year-old student. Her parents had her wear a wire to secretly record the disparaging comments.

Ohio special-needs student wore wire to tape aide’s caustic comments, on ABSNews.go.com.

Posted in: Laws and courts

Reclaiming Who We Are

I’m so glad that so many of you found Fishead useful. It’s yet one more resource, one more educational tool that can only help to highlight the cause about sociopaths. This week I am on a training course run by Dr Robert Hare, so next week I’m sure I will be writing about my experiences.

Today, though, I felt it appropriate to share something of my own experiences following the aftermath of my relationship. It’s a post that was written on the 19th June 2010, fourteen months after I discovered the truth. It was a time when I’d really begun to make progress. I had survived (probably the most important thing at the time!), I knew exactly what I was dealing with (in terms of the personality and the issues he’d left behind) and I knew who my friends were. I had re-started my business and I was determined that life was only heading one way – better and brighter.

Woman sues over web of Internet deceit

A case is now percolating through the Illinois courts that may have implications on whether perpetrators of online deception can be sued for damages.

The case is Paula Bonhomme v. Janna St. James. Bonhomme lives in Los Angeles. She is a fan of the TV show Deadwood, and back in 2005, joined a chat room about the show. There she met St. James.

St. James eventually introduced Bonhomme, online, to a man by the name of Jesse. Bonhomme and Jesse exchanged emails, phone calls and handwritten notes, and their relationship blossomed into a romance. Jesse introduced Bonhomme to his family and friends via email. Bonhomme sent gifts to Jesse and his family. They planned a future together, and decided that Bonhomme should move from Los Angeles to Jesse’s home in Colorado.

Then suddenly, Jesse died of liver cancer. In Jesse’s memory, Bonhomme went to Colorado to visit some of his favorite places, accompanied by the woman who had introduced her to Jesse—Janna St. James.