lf1

Archive for September, 2011

We can’t change them … so we must change ourselves

By Joyce Alexander RNP (Retired)

We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation — just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer — we are challenged to change ourselves.

Dr. Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Girls attack their own grandfather for inheritance

Here’s another assault on an elderly man—this one physical. A man from the United Kingdom gave his adopted daughter a privileged upbringing. Now 49, the daughter and a group of teenagers—her son, son’s girlfriend and daughters—didn’t want to wait for their inheritances. They plotted to kill the man with bricks.

Read Teenage sisters sentenced over plot to kill their grandfather, 89, on Guardian.co.uk

Read Schoolgirl, 16, locked up for her part of family plot to kill grandfather to get hands on his inheritance, on DailyMail.co.uk.

Links supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Laws and courts

Woman swindles elderly man for $2.2 million

Norman Butler of Washington worked all his life as an optometrist and managed his money carefully. When he and his wife, Mary, retired, they were financially comfortable. Mary died in 2004, and the next year, Norman met a widow online.

Except Shea Saenger wasn’t a widow. She was married con artist, who was also a convicted murderer. As Butler developed Alzheimer’s disease, she swindled him for $2.2 million.

Doug Butler, a Lovefraud reader and Norman Butler’s son, sent a link to his story.

Read Murder, fraud, $2.2 million somewhere, on ArkTimes.com.

Husband’s rage costs woman her face

Tom Culp of Ohio had bullied his wife, Connie, but was rarely violent. In 2004, he became enraged and shot Connie in the face. Her lip, nose, one eye and both cheeks were shattered.

In 2008, Connie underwent a face transplant. Now, she works towards small improvements, like being able to sip a milkshake through a straw.

Read ‘It’s not my face, but I feel thankful that I have one’ on DailyMail.co.uk.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

Dancing In The Rain

Thanks, again, for all your comments – I’m glad you seemed to like the more light-hearted approach on my last post! This week there have been so many things I could choose to write about that I simply don’t know where to start. I can assure me, it’s unlike me to be lost for words, but that’s how it feels at the moment.

You see, the past couple of weeks have been magical in so many ways. I have re-connected with old friends. Extraordinary business opportunities are opening up everywhere I turn. Publishing contract now agreed, the words are flowing for my first book (I am so excited!) And as if all that wasn’t enough, one of my dear friends swam across The Channel from England to France this weekend to raise money for the specialist school his severely disabled son attends. It’s an astonishing feat by a very brave man – an ordinary person who faced extraordinary circumstances, and who chose to fight for love rather than give up to despair. He and his beautiful wife have tackled so many challenges over the years since their beloved son was born, and each time they pull through stronger and more determined than ever before. Sarah-Jayne and Peter Windridge-France – I salute you both.

The sociopath’s predatory stare, revisited

I was recently asked to comment on the sociopath’s “predatory stare,” and my first thought was to play it down somewhat. Not all sociopaths have this stare, or else it would be pretty easy to bust them for the “look.”

On the other hand there’s a form of the “predatory stare” that I want to remark on briefly in this short article that signals my return to the blog, again, on a more regular basis. It is really the “predatory stare,” but masked as the “romantic stare.”

Again, not all sociopaths deploy the “romantic stare,” let’s not kid ourselves. But some do.  I’ve worked with many woman (and a few men) who can attest to it, and I’m sure many of you have had experience with it.

What is it? And what is its purpose?

Beginning the journey to wholeness

Last week, I posted Letters to Lovefraud: Who we used to be, written by the reader who posts as “Panther.” She called herself a “new survivor,” having just left the sociopath and gone “No Contact” less than a month ago. She wrote:

Through reading various Lovefraud articles, I’ve realized that the veterans have so much invaluable advice to offer. However, at times I wonder how the voice of a survivor sounded right after the break. The reason this matters to me is because the veterans seem so much stronger than I feel right now. I cannot help but wonder, as I read through their wise words, if they have something I don’t have, which enabled them to get over this.

To Panther and other Lovefraud newbies: The only difference between you and the veterans is time. We’ve been on the healing journey longer than you have.

Murder trial tests battered woman defense

Barbara Sheehan, of Queens, New York, is on trial for shooting her husband, Raymond Sheehan, a former police officer and crime scene investigator. During hours of testimony, Barbara Sheehan described 20 years of abuse. Her son took the witness stand and backed up her claims.

Read Queens woman testifies she killer her husband in self-defense, on NYTimes.com.

Read Murder trial hinges on questions of domestic abuse, on NYTimes.com

Read Barbara Sheehan’s son testifies at secretary’s murder trial about discovering his father’s affair on NYDailyNews.com.

From cheating to murder

Marie Steward discovered that Andrew Lindo, her fiance and father of their children, was cheating on her. Lindo stabbed and strangled her, hid her body in their garage, and told the family that she’d left him for another man. Lindo was convicted in the UK and sentenced to 22 years in prison.

Read This monster who took my daughter’s life: Victim’s father attacks cheating killer who beat his daughter to death on DailyMail.co.uk.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Laws and courts

Where there is life, there is hope … or is there?

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)

One of the things I was raised to believe was, “where there is life, there is hope.” It was one of the precepts I was taught to believe — to always keep “hope” alive.

In the last few decades, there have been many advances in the medical profession’s ability to save people that not long ago have surely would have died. My grandfather was one of the early members of my family who was “saved” from a sure death from pneumonia by the first “sulfa drugs,” antibiotics. It was a miracle, as he was already thought by the doctors to be “sure to die,” but he returned from the very brink of death and survived.