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Dumb moves with sex offenders

What do you do with sex offenders? Yes, it’s a difficult question, but there must be better answers than the decisions described in the stories below.

Teen girls housed with sex offenders in controversial Wichita program on ABCNews.go.com

Officials place sexually violent predator in small town on ABCNews.go.com

Second story is also available in video


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12 Comments on "Dumb moves with sex offenders"

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  1. one/joy_step_at_a_time says:

    well, don’t know that this is related to pedophillia, but sadly don’t know that it isn’t either.

    i was talking to someone who used to work in the prisons here, and who is pretty well versed in personality disorders. I got to thinking about my dad and how he doesn’t have empathy in many ways for my mom. He does things that cause her more striffe and trouble for no other reason than he thinks they are better for him, even when they actually cause him more striffe and trouble. he is a narcissist, but i started to wonder….no empathy…..hmmmm.



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  2. Ox Drover says:

    One Joy, there is a book you need to read, and I mean NEED to read called the “Science of Evil, on Empathy and the origins of cruelty” by Simon Baron-Cohen, where he looks at Empathy as a continuum rather than as a Is or Ain’t proposition. I think he is right in that view, so picture the Bell Curve with most foks in the middle and some folks out at the Zero end and some at the TOP end…and also he looks at lack of empathy as a permanent OR as a temporary problem, and he posses that there are times we ALL have temporary lack of empathy, but that the PDs have low level or no level of empathy as a permanent factor and why….both the environmental and the genetic.

    This guy is a RESEARCHER not just some quack giving his opinion, and studies autisim as well as the PDs. It might answer the questions you have about your P sperm donor and his behavior toward you and your mother. I found it VERY helpful in some insights about others, but also insights about myself.

    I realize that we can CONTROL our level of empathy, and we can TRAIN our level of empathy into ourselves. I remember when that psychopathic woman I took in was standing in front of me crying and carrying on after I told her she had to leave doing everything she could to get me to fall for a PITY PLAY, and then when that didn’t work, she would try the GUILTING, and when that didn’t work, she would try the FEAR, and then back to the PITY play she was trying different approaches so rapidly she was like a roast spinning on an out of control spit! LOL I stood before her watching, observing, and without the LEAST BIT OF EMPATHY FOR HER…NONE, ZIP, ZERO….and I realized even at the time that that must be how the psychopaths VIEW US when we are BEGGING them to stop hurting us. I had turned off my empathy for this woman because I had realized she was an abuser, user, mooch, and most likely a psychopath—I turned off my empathy for her the same way I would have turned off my empathy for a poison snake I had found in my yard….I was doing what I had to do to protect myself and my property, I was getting rid of something poison that if allowed to stay in my yard would bite me.

    I actually have more empathy for the cattle I kill for food than I had for that woman, because I make sure they are not scared, that they are not alone, and that they do not suffer in any way physically or emotionally. With her, I had no empathy, I just observed her like I would have a snake whose head I had chopped off, and observed how the body kept writhing for a while. She was a perfect example of how a psychopath can flip and flop and try every HOOK in the book to reach my empathy factor and get me to let her back in—to feel sorry for her, or to feel guilty because I didn’t do more for her….but I was done with empathy for that woman…just like the snake. It is what makes NC wonderful and healing. Getting away from their hooks if we still have any empathy. Fortunately, I had hit the EMPATHY OFF toggle switch before I went to tell her she had to leave.



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  3. one/joy_step_at_a_time says:

    Oxy, I recently sent Donna an article about his research, and I will get the book and read it. I need that sort of perspective.

    I have that toogle switch, too. I wrote about that recently. It’s a real gift, one of wisdom. I have done this with my n sire, and the spath. And to a large extent with my n sib. (and when i say that I mean that i will not allow her in my life, but I do feel compassion for her struggles (the enviro illness) as I think they have made her more n than she was. I am not ‘done’ with my n sire yet, that I know – I think reading this book will help. I am still tied by my hurt and anger, and i need to work on that. I would like to be able to be done with him before i sue him; it would make it so much easier for me.

    thanks for the recommendation.



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