Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from reader whom we’ll call “Grandma.” She would appreciate any advice to help her deal with her son and granddaughters.
My son is categorically a psychopathic personality. In my mind, I can remember the tendencies starting about his high school years. I wonder why nobody else recognized this.
Now he is the 29 year old father of 2 small girls. The youngest child, 3-1/2 years old, is telling stories of her father hurting her vagina. She is in counseling and the counselor is the one who reported this to law enforcement and to DSS. (The counselor believes it to be true.) However, because of my husband and my involvement in the lives of these girls (we have been raising them on and off their entire lives), we are labeled as habitual complainers and meddling grandparents. I am sure this is due to the lies he tells and lying is one of his strong points. He is deferring his blame by telling law enforcement that I have made up this story and taught it to my granddaughter. I would not, could not do this to her. I was molested as a child. I had no one to tell. This is not the way I want her to grow up, either of them. (The oldest—5 years old—was sexually molested by her mother’s friend 2 years ago … my husband and I reported it to DSS and were labeled then as making up the story because we are meddling grandparents. This story was found to be true.) If I would ever treat them this way, I would be no better than a person who physically hurts them. It is my job to protect them.
The problem is that his friends, ex girlfriends, etc., say they love the girls but they do not want to get involved. It is as if they are afraid of him. I do not know how to coax, coerce, whatever to encourage them that this is not for me or my husband, this is for 2 innocent lives and if he lies well enough, he will get away with all of it. The guardian has asked him to take 2 different psychological tests, but I fear he will pass these. He passed a lie detector test and I know he is lying. When his lips are moving, that is all that he knows.
Do you have any suggestions? Do you have any ideas? I am clueless at this point. The girls are safe with their aunt at the present time, but I am interested in them living with my husband and I full time. We have raised them since 3 months old and feel an obligation and love. We have been their security, their stability and their safety. We want to continue in that role
Thank you in advance. I hate that other women go through this in so much worse ways than me, but the girls are the ones that are suffering. Women need to know that if he seems to good to be true, he probably is. And I am saying this about my own son.