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Advice for women not involved with sociopaths

In the wake of Weinergate, CNN posted an article entitled, Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim. Abedin, of course, is Anthony Weiner’s wife, who I’m sure was, at the very least, embarrassed by the scandal, and perhaps angry enough to consider divorce.

The article quotes a couple of authors telling women to choose not to be victims. Instead, women should choose to define their own happiness. Oh, there are a couple of caveats—the advice doesn’t apply to women who fear for their safety or are facing financial ruin. But there is no discussion of what to do when your relationship is so emotinally abusive that you are psychologically traumatized.

In short, this story offers advice for women coping with infidelity whose partners are not sociopaths. Which is fine—these women need advice as much as anyone. But the article also reinforces society’s “just get over it” attitude, which makes life difficult for women dealing with true exploitation.

Read Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim on CNN.com.



432 Comments on "Advice for women not involved with sociopaths"

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  1. ElizabethBennett says:

    H2H-the job may be falling through-I will find out tomorrow maybe. I am so tired of all this.

    I am very relieved right now about things with her. I saw her off to work this morning and she was ok. I just welcomed her home like usual and she was totally normal-like nothing ever happened. It’s hard for me that she doesn’t feel what I feel but it SO MUCH the relief that she appears to be ok with everything. I helped her carry her stuff in and we talked about how our day was and it was so just like every other evening. I’m so FREAKIN GLAD that she still wants to be my friend and that she’s not scared of me. I think it was the way that I told her. I feel like another weight is lifted but I’ve been extremely stressed about the job. One of the hospitals here at home called late this evening and left me a message that they still want to interview me. I am supposed to work tomorrow but I think I’m going to call her and see if I can schedule the interview before I’m scheduled to leave-in case it falls through.



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  2. Hope to heal says:

    Lizzy ~ oh for heaven’s sake!! What’s with the yo-yo stuff on the job?? It sounded as if it was a sure thing???

    I’m happy for you and your neighbor’s friendship. It seems like you handled it just the right way for her to feel comfortable about the whole thing.

    Glad to hear that you still have a chance to interview locally too. It never hurts to keep your options open.



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  3. ElizabethBennett says:

    H2H-I don’t know about this damn job. My file is supposed to be complete by tomorrow and it’s not close-they told me that one of my immunization titers was negative and I got the booster shot in 2009 with my tetanus so I have to figure out how to fix it. The two gals that were supposed to help me decided not to return my phone calls and emails this afternoon. So I am scheduled to work 12 hrs tomorrow and hour away from home so I won’t be finishing anything. I can’t cancel the shift unless they cancel me because I desperately need the cash. I’m drowning.

    I’m still swooning over her but it will get better. Even if I end up staying here it will get better. She is my friend and now she won’t be surprised when I eventually bring a girl home-in fact, knowing her, she’ll have to meet her and talk to her to make sure she is worthy for me. She was right about being a maternal figure for me. She would have made a great mom-10 times better than what I had.



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  4. Hope to heal says:

    Maybe you can just get another booster? If so, maybe you can get it done during a break tomorrow.

    So glad you have a good “mom” in your friend. Having that figure in your life is a good thing.

    I’m just getting to know my mother’s youngest sister, who seems to be a great “mom” figure, unlike my mother. It’s a good feeling to be developing that relationship. 🙂



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  5. ElizabethBennett says:

    H2H-I can’t get the booster while I’m working cuz I have to find one of the free clinics in New Orleans to get one free or for a reduced price since I’m so poor. If I get to do that it won’t happen until Thursday. That’s why I was trying to get them to call me back today but apparently I am dealing with two girls who like to leave the office early for the day.

    It is really wonderful to have a maternal figure like her and if I do leave I will tell her that later. She eventually will get a chance to talk with me about being gay. She didn’t have time last night because of work and she was really a little overwhelmed with my revelation. She does want to talk about it later and I want to tell her how much it means to me that she accepts me cuz my parents do not. They do NOT want a gay daughter and that really hurts. I want her to ask me about it so I can be open with her. Most people when you come out to them they ask questions and I want to be able to have that conversation with her.



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  6. Ox Drover says:

    Lizzy, will your health department give you the injection? It would seem to me if the hospital required you to have it, they would give it to you.



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  7. hens says:

    Lizzy Did your neighbor lady like the dozen roses?



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  8. ElizabethBennett says:

    Oxy-I am going to try to get them to do it. That’s why I gotta go to a clinic.



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  9. ElizabethBennett says:

    Hens-yes she loved the dozen red roses. I was afraid that she was going to throw them out after I told her last night since I transferred the elephant from my chest to hers. I helped her carry her things in tonight and they were still sitting right there on the coffee table-I was relieved and just so relieved that she’s still my friend-that means the world to me and she was right about her being sort of a maternal figure to me-she would have been a great mom. I can’t promise I won’t be emotional if I leave on Friday, but it will be ok.

    I don’t even know what to say about the job situation. Another neighbor said a pray for me out loud right in the middle of the street this evening, and she said where GOD closes a door, he opens another one up instead. It reminds me of the quote that the lovely Julie Andrews said in the Sound of Music-“when GOD closes a door, somewhere he opens a window”.



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