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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Why sociopaths sometimes kill themselves

Editor’s note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud’s Professional Resources Guide.

Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. She has also created a wonderful animation that describes the antics of a sociopath, called Exposing the Mask of Insanity. View the animation here.

The sociopath’s unconscious death wish

By Sarah Strudwick

Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide

I recently received an email from one of my readers saying that her husband and mother, who are both sociopaths, had suicide clauses in their wills, so I decided to write an article on the sociopath and suicide. Many people think that sociopaths never commit suicide, but I beg to differ.

For those who aren’t already aware, many of those who have symptoms of sociopathy often have other personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder. In fact, it’s one of the reasons why when I wrote Dark Souls that I grouped the two personalities together. Whatever we decide to call these people, whether it be sociopaths, psychopaths, or narcissists, the DSM-5 has now decided to propose putting narcissistic personality disorder in with the “psychopathic type personality.”

So what do all of these psychopathic types have in common? A need for admiration, narcissistic supply and attention. When the attention runs dry, they will resort to any number of tactics, using guilt, blame, anger, and so on, to get their needs met. I saw a very unnerving video from a death row inmate in the U.S. where the guy is asked why he did what he did to others and how he felt about being and death row. He said, “Because I just want to die.”

My encounters

I recently heard of an old acquaintance who I had had the misfortune of being friends with many years ago. He recently died under strange circumstances, although it appears he committed suicide when he got caught out. He was one of the psychopathic type personalities, a loner, a user with a distinct liking of hurting animals and children. I wondered whether the sociopath has an unconscious death wish.

Sociopaths have a distinct lack of impulse control, coupled with their own lack of remorse. My own ex threatened to commit suicide a couple of times when I said I would leave. Of course he never did it. Each time I was gullible enough to take him back.

My own sociopathic father even made a half-hearted attempt at doing it when my mother decided enough was enough. When finally asked in counseling why he did it, he replied, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” My view is that it was more like he was concerned he wouldn’t have supply any more, and he knew that killing himself would hurt everyone, including his children.

The ultimate gesture

Often you will see headline cases in newspapers where sociopaths go on killing sprees and then just as they are about to be caught out, they turn the gun on themselves as the ultimate “f*ck you,” so that they cannot be brought to justice.

Most of us who have lived around sociopaths know that their sole need is to use others, and unless they are receiving attention, then their lives aren’t really worth living. Take the likes of Ted Bundy and Charles Manson. In their warped way, I am sure they love all the adoration they receive.

Some normal people may want to be come famous. They may be driven by a desire to do something good and succeed.

A sociopath doesn’t care about being successful or doing good. They don’t care whether or not they are “famous” or “infamous.” They don’t mind having a bad name or being associated with something detestable, which is why so many celebrities who have sociopathic tendencies will be more than happy to appear in the news doing pretty much anything just to get headlines.

Here in the UK all serial killers are hated hence our most famous psychopath, Fred West, hanged himself before trial, despite being on suicide watch. Thus he was never tried for his heinous crimes, which included raping his own 13 year old daughter and chopping up a few dead bodies.

But the moment the supply runs out for the sociopath, then what?  They are happy with punishment in the form of everyone either hating them, which is why so many thrive in prisons. The worse thing people can do is ignore them, in which case they have nothing more to do than look at four walls, and put them in isolation, so they have to “talk to the hand” and have to face their own souls and miserable existences. And since they hate being ignored and probably died along time ago, what better way to be remembered than to give the ultimate “F*ck you” by blowing their own head off, or hanging themselves off the end of a bedpost in the hope they will have some kind of recognition?



52 Comments on "RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Why sociopaths sometimes kill themselves"

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  1. Ox Drover says:

    Aussie girl, Your “drama king” story actually made me laugh! What a joker! LOL an id-i-jut to be exact! LOL ROTFLMAO

    It wouldn’t have mattered to him if he had burned down the world. The thing is though, he was NOT going to hurt himself that’s for sure! LOL



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  2. kim frederick says:

    Yeah,Aussie, I agree with Oxy. No one would choose to burn to death! But Your story did creep me out a bit. Is it possible that he was going to start a fire in the forest? Is it possible that HE started the fire you spoke of?

    Starting a fire like that would certainly be DRAMATIC. Maybe he’s a pyrospath.



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  3. one/joy_step_at_a_time says:

    the threat of suicide was ever present in my time with the spath. ‘He’ was such a sick and dying boy, so emotionally and psychologically damaged by evil people in his short lifetime that….
    okay, we all know this is a crock of shit!

    There were suicide threats of omission and commission. one day i spent SEVERAL HOURS talking the fake boy our of a fake suicide. HOURS. she (the spath) is such a piece of crap.

    really. i would still like to punch her in the face when I think about all that she solicited from me in time, heart and compassion – all solicited under false pretenses. I was genuine; she was a lying sack of crap evil *C*.

    she was sooooo about the drama and trauma. fake suicide, fake boy, fake abuse ad naseum, fake surgeries, fake death.

    fake resurrection – i mean really! i just want to punch her when i think of this. so, i do my best not to think of it.

    i still feel powerless in some ways, i still feel raped. she is a danger to society. if i engage with her unholiness, she is a danger to me. lying evil piece of shit.



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  4. one/joy_step_at_a_time says:

    i have a better word Kim – how about ‘torch’? snort.

    ouu, one joy is in ‘whack-a-spath’ mode again.



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  5. YesIt'sMe says:

    Yeah, like kim, I’m wondering if it’s possible that he started the 2007 fire. Sure sounds like the suspicious behavior of someone who starts fires…..the arsonist sociopath.



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  6. blossom4th says:

    Hmmm,very interesting article….what happens to a sociopath when supply runs out;no attention,etc?What about those “unconcious death wishes”?!Whoa,heavy stuff!Well,sad to say~~~there are consequences to pay for wrongdoing!



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  7. fight says:

    The “whack-a-spath” comment cracked me up.

    Mine has attempted twice. They always figure out a way to get help at the last minute. He was never with me when he did these things. I have seen wrist scars.

    It is true they like negative attention. I give him a little on purpose just to keep him away from me while paying my bills. I have to say that if he killed himself here, it would be upsetting, but I would handle it better than all those years I had hope that he was a human being capable of love.

    I think more narcissistic sociopaths commit suicide than the statistics show….especially when they get old. They are just so shallow that they don’t accept aging like normal people do and they lose all of their charm for younger people. I wonder if younger people are more savvy than those of us who are older? I hope they are. It is probably automatic for them to check for danger on the social media sites as soon as they meet one.



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