lf1

Finding our ADAMANT— unearthing our most valuable gem

By ErinBrock

One thing we see over and over from the fallout of a sociopathic relationship is destroyed self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Lacking self-esteem and confidence leads to overlooking behaviors and having a hard time making firm decisions for ourselves.

Destroyed self-esteem makes it difficult some days to even get out of bed, let alone get out of the house and participate in life. It’s hard to plan for meals, school lunches, kid activities, legal angles, financial support and moving forward. We want to hide under the covers and make it all go away.

Okay yes, and justifiably so. BUT … if we want to get “somewhere,” we must first find our adamant.

Adamant describes a beautiful diamond—very hard, crystalline carbon, impenetrable, impregnable, unshakeable and unyielding. It is a valuable gem.

We must learn to find the gem we all possess …… our valuable adamant.

We must commit to being adamant and NOT allowing destruction. We must be adamant about taking back our souls from a sociopath, protecting our children, our assets and our futures. Right is right and wrong is wrong. We must be adamant about this!

We all possess adamant; we were gifted this beautiful gem at birth. We put it away for the sociopath. Dig it out and reconnect; keep it close and feel it!

Once we find our adamant, we can move forward with a dedicated, “hell hath no fury” attitude. We discover things inside of ourselves we never thought we were capable of. We learn how much power we have over our lives and how much we can change things we don’t like or agree with.

WHY? Because we are adamant!

Adamant is an important and powerful feeling. It’s the empowerment we need to proceed into a custody battle, a divorce with a sociopath, or a family member’s betrayal.

There is no other word that has the same feeling or empowerment attached as adamant.

I asked my kids about what they knew about the word adamant. They responded, “when Moms adamant, don’t try to change her mind, it will never work.”

This led into a great, humor-filled chat. Jr. asked to borrow my car for a long distance drive. He stated his reasons. I said, “I’m sorry, but no.”

He persisted. I looked at him and said, “Jr. … I’m adamant … NO!”

He said, “Mom, I’m adamant. I need your car.”

I then explained to Jr. adamant is NOT the same as pushy, persistent, manipulative or convincing. Adamant means there are NO negotiations involved. The buck stops with adamant. Done. Period!

Jr. smiled and went on his way; he understood there was nowhere left to go, mom was adamant.

Once we find our adamant and team it up with tenacity, strength and courage …… we become a strong force. We can pull on our adamant and make strong dedicated decisions, and move forward with confidence.

Adamant is personal, spiritual, professional and human. Adamant encompasses our whole being, once we find it.

Once we find our adamant, we are no longer the victim and we become the survivor, the gems we always were … finally unearthed and empowered, impenetrable and unshakeable!



122 Comments on "Finding our ADAMANT— unearthing our most valuable gem"

Trackback | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Truthspeak says:

    I thought I’d bring this article back to the present – there are so MANY, many helpful articles archived on LoveFraud.

    It’s really easy to “give up and give in” after spath entanglements, and Erin Brock brought a very important part of recovery to light: finding my adamant.

    So, I hope that this article sparks some “fury” to recover!

    Brightest blessings



    Report this comment

  2. MiLo says:

    Truthy ~ thanks for bringing this one back up, it is one of my favorites. And thanks to EB for writing it.

    When we sometimes feel all is lost, it is time to look inward and find our “adamant”.

    I recently read an article on a mountaineer woman, who many had called fearless. She said, “I don’t think there is such a thing as a fearless woman – there’s just gals with gumption.”

    So today let’s pledge to find our gumption, our adamant and keep on going……



    Report this comment

  3. Ox Drover says:

    I think it was John Wayne (0r someone) said “Bravery isn’t being UNafraid, it is being scared shiatless and saddling up any way.”

    We’re all afraid at time, all lack confidence in our ability to handle what we must do,, but we dig down and we find our ADAMANT or our GUMPTION or our GRIT and we go do it anyway…whether it is get out of bed with 101 fever to go change a baby’s diaper, or go too work when we would rather stay home and cry all day in bed.

    We find that ADAMANT and we keep on going!



    Report this comment

  4. Radar_On says:

    Thanks Truthspeak for bringing this up from the archives. There are so many insightful articles here, but don’t have the time to go through them all! Yes indeed, needed to see this one, especially now! I absolutely despise what these animals have robbed us of! Thank you so very much! Adamant here I come!!! 🙂



    Report this comment

  5. Truthspeak says:

    Radar_On, I have this “thing” about righteous indignation, and each one of us has every RIGHT to feel indignant and outraged at what spaths have caused. Once that outrage is expressed, then the work on “SELF” can begin, and that’s what I’m feeling a need for, personally.

    Brightest blessings



    Report this comment

Post a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.