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Somewhere Inbetween Time: Between Past-Perfect and Future-Perfect

By the Front Porch Talker

Somewhere along the time-space continuum we have space-time. Space is three-dimensional and time is in the fourth-dimension, with different spatial dimensions. According to perceptions, the universe has three dimensions of space and one of time. By combining space and time, we have the freedom to describe life more accurately—from the quantum level to the super galactical levels; thus, expanding our entire perceptions of time and space, and life ultimately.

Everything is relative, of course, even our own experiences and perceptions of life. Depending upon where we are observing an event, how close and how distant, and depending on the gravitational forces, we see what remains a fixed idea or perception of a truth, simply because we experienced it, forgetting that there is a bigger picture out there in the universe somewhere.

Our perceptions of time depend not only on the gravitational forces, but subjectively how we experience time. Metaphorically speaking, why does time seem to move too quickly when we are excited and engaged in the present moment, with such deep focus? Why does time seem to move eternally slow when we are depressed or isolated, seemingly repeating the same words to some awful song over and over?

What about epiphanies, which are preceded by the perception of uneven time moving in fits-and-starts, from faster to slower in uneven increments, then settling on that one spectacular blissful moment when we feel that time and space have perfectly melded into our understanding of the bigger picture of the world and our lives. Would obsessions be uneven time that settles into isolation, then?

Expression of our reality, the writing-and-speaking time continuum, lags far behind the universe, in both time and space. So, while the meta-world travels faster than the speed of light, with strings of energy, parallel universes, worm holes, black and white holes, and dying stars—we are stuck here on earth, dragged down by the tremendous force of gravity that is our language to describe life.

Literally and figuratively speaking, our dimensions of expression in the English language lag light-years behind perceptions of time and space in the universe. Speaking-and-writing time is a continuum of tenses, from past-perfect to future-perfect, with the present time somewhere in between past and future.

In addition, in the speaking-and-writing time continuum, our tenses are further slowed by wishy-washy possibilities: conditional-time, which considers all the possibilities, past and present; progressive-time  (subjunctive), which is forever lighting on this point or that without a conclusion; and,  (subjunctive) mood time, which is touchy-feely and passive-aggressive.

Our language is always limited by time and tense, just as we are. Spoken or written, language is stuck in compartments, or packages of energy. We say that we are in present tense. For example, we walk into a Dodge Dealership and buy a big new truck, on credit of course. Presently, we sign the loan papers.

But, the moment we drive our four-by-four Dodge Ram Truck out of the parking lot, we are already in the simple past. Our truck was new and was worth the price we paid on credit, but it lost value just by driving it away. The longer we own that truck, the older it gets (and we get), and the fuzzier our memory becomes of that day when we had that past-perfect recollection that eventually fades back into simple past when we retell the story, out of simplicity. Finally, we trade the truck in for a new one and we are back in the present-tense again. Then, we are in the future buying a new truck and then to future-perfect.

Our experiences and memories are shaded by “conditional-time” that moves us backward and forward in time, infinitely, never settling on a definite decision.  It is the land of what if’s and what might have been’s.  Likewise, “progressive-time” is always moving forward without conclusion or introspection. It is the workaholic-time where we never stop working long enough to conclude anything about our lives. It gives the illusion of progress.

Past-perfect is somewhere between forgetting and remembering.  The longer we have lived, the more we have remembered and forgotten.  From the simple past to further past to past-perfect, we move further into our memories from years ago, while never perfectly recalling all the details.

We may vividly recall our imagined mistakes overlaying those with our similar present mistakes. Somebody misunderstands or has an image of us that we feel personally insulted by. We believe this sleight was intentional, which distances us and adds insult to insult.

We are certain that we will never be understood by this person, nor will we understand them.  We remember only a particle or two of the insult, forgetting the context of when and how the remark had been made. We hear only a grain of the truth, say, that we were egotistical or that we cared too much about our public image.

Thus, we are stuck in between, in past-perfect where time and memories collide, distorting the truth, by causing endless repetitions of that one moment, or those few words: ego, image, cared—when we had been insulted. Although we move forward with our lives in the physical world, our past-perfect memories remain distant triggering moments frozen in time that multiply with even further distant insults that keep us forever stuck in the past, with no language to describe this state of being.

However, our recall is paradoxical: according to the Laws of Quantum Mechanics, everything will repeat itself over and over again; but, our limited time perceptions try to control an imagined timelessness of hopes and fears and sentiments into little packets of energy that are separate from the rest of our reality. So, what good is time travel if we are destined to keep making the same mistakes and having the same misperceptions with others?  Why communicate at all?

In a seemingly random moment, we see that person with whom we have felt so much misunderstanding and doubt.  We take a leap-of-faith anyway when that person explains the context of their remark in the present.  “Oh,” they say to you casually, almost as an aside, “I used the words ego and image and caring to describe you after seeing those very words quoted by you somewhere. I didn’t mean that I thought you were egotistic or controlling of your image. I would feel the same way.”

It is then that your perception changes from past-perfect to present, and then into the future.  These missteps in life are merely packets of fear or anger or despair freely floating in the speaking-writing time continuum. They only have meaning if we assign meaning to them. We only free ourselves from the time and memory repetition by allowing for randomness and chaos in our lives. We must admit that we have no control over when or how or why good or bad things happen to us. But we can awaken ourselves to the quaint possibility that language hinders us from moving out of past-perfect and into present compassion.

We signify this new compassion for ourselves after others have first been compassionate towards us. That is, we are not born with the ability to love others. First, others must love us giving us the example of compassion and unconditional love. If we don’t have this love, freely given to us, we cannot give it to somebody else, nor get love from someone else. Although we seem to be living in the same parallel universe, assuming that we are equally able to love and have compassion, the reality is that we are not even in the same galaxy speaking the same language.

This explains several possible theories about why some people become narcissists or sociopaths—unable to feel empathy, and without a conscience.  If they had been abused or neglected at a very young age, there is an “empty self” who cannot love others. Metaphorically speaking, they are forever stuck in past-perfect time that is so many light-years gone that the person is no longer fully conscious of the original abuse or insult. They may remember it intellectually, but have no ability to recall those painful memories, nor to experience them fully.

That is how past-perfect time, on the one hand, can be recall of fond memories of our childhood that may be distorted as time goes by; or how past-perfect time can imprison us in an endless repetition of insults or injury, or vacant bits of abuse or neglect that impair our ability to be present permanently.

If Past-perfect time is for stuck memories, then Future-perfect time is for dreamers and salesmen and optimists. Without the past to dwell on and casts doubts about the meaning of our lives, we are free to dream ahead to the infinite possibilities of what may lie ahead, given our current course of movement. Thus, we plan our futures as we think life should progress: college, marriage, work, divorce, work, retirement, and so on. For many of us, when our futures don’t progress in a straight line, the dream is in contra temps and irrationality, until we rewrite it.

No wonder we feel misunderstood: We are. Speaking-and-writing time is always once or twice removed from the present moment. We spend our lives trying to shore-up time, in one direction or another.  Metaphorically speaking, we exist in separate, parallel universes where we seem to be in the same world understanding the same things, wanting the same dreams: but we aren’t.  We may be light-years away from each other, while sitting together in the same place. Or, we may be inextricably connected to each other, while we have never met.

It’s no secret that every once in a while we awaken from our dreams. We realize that we have done this all before, again and again, ad infinitum; but only now are we aware that just thinking about it changes everything—somewhere inbetween time.

The Front Porch Talker, somewhere in between time



27 Comments on "Somewhere Inbetween Time: Between Past-Perfect and Future-Perfect"

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  1. ifinallygotthelesson says:

    Dear Gemini:

    You hit it right on the head, when I finally came to the realization that everything evil that was done to me was deliberate that was when I was able to go nc and remain that way. My experience with the psycho has changed me more than I ever thought possible, I am forever changed which saddens me to no end, am much, much more cautious and untrusting with people to an extent I have never known.

    I have experienced that breath of satan on my neck that you speak of, it is palpable.

    I also feel that everything I have ever learned about love, trust and kindness has been taken from me, my innocence. I always really believed there was good in everyone, but no more.

    Thanks for this validating post!!! Much joy and peace to you

    : )

    “Its that terrible feeling of the ground being cut from under you, that everything you’ve been taught about love, trust, kindness, has suddenly gone, like a huge earthquake, or chasm appearing in front of your feet, then you falling into it.
    Nothing will ever be the same again. And the pain seems more than you can bear, and you know now that NO_ONE can help you or save you, or say:”There there,-Im sure he/she didnt mean it.!”

    Because suddenly you know YES, they DID mean it, yes, it was deliberate cruelty, no you didn’t deserve it, for the first time you feel real HATRED against you,and can feel the breathe of satan on your neck. You now know what EVIL really is. Mama Gem. They did it to Christ, do you really suppose they wouldn’t do it to you too?



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  2. geminigirl says:

    Dearest FinallyGTL,!and Oxy,
    Thank you so much for your response.
    I was praying today and God reminded me that we havent read the end of the book yet!{the Bible.} where He promises to wipe away every tear from every eye, and there shall be no more death.Thats when we get to sit at Christas right hand, sup with him and He’ll say,”Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter into thy rest prepared for you before the foundation of the world!He said “In this world you shall have tribulation but FEAR NOT! I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD!!The devil is under His feet, finally.Itsa comfort to realise in direct proportion to how much the devil hates us, Christ loves us! he did say,
    “We wrestle,{fight} not against flesh and blood but against evil angels and the rulers of satans dark kingdom.”
    WE ARE LOVED! Maybe not by our parents and children or spath husbands, wives, lovers,but our Heavenly Father loves us! We are the apple of His eye!We are carved on His heart! He holds us in the palm of his hand!As a Mother hen guards her chickens under her wings, so does God protect us. Remember Job, God would not allow satan to touch his soul, he put a hedge around it.So, our soul is intact, the devil cant touch it.And nor can our spath family members.
    So we can take comfort in that
    Love and Hugs,
    Mama gem.XX



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  3. Ox Drover says:

    Dear Gemini,

    I will never be an orphan! (((hugs))))



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  4. ifinallygotthelesson says:

    Dear Gemini:

    Loved it!

    Especially:

    “Remember Job, God would not allow satan to touch his soul, he put a hedge around it. So, our soul is intact, the devil can’t touch it. And nor can our spath family members.
    So we can take comfort in that.”

    Amen, this really helps. : )



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  5. geminigirl says:

    Hi, got the lesson! Not only that the devil cannot ‘Listen in’ on a private prayer between you and God, neither can he or any of his cohorts intercept the loving angel mesages,{that come to us as sudden “Inspirations”} from God or His angels. he’d love to be able to, but he cant.
    So, thats a comfort too.!
    Much Love, mama GemXX



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  6. bluediamond says:

    Just concluded a one year relationship with a man who I believed I could spend my future with. I discovered that he was not only cheating but abusing my credit card. Now I do not see myself as a victim because the signs were already there. But, I was in denial.

    I write this because there are plenty of women out there who will do the same. Not evaluate what is in front of them. Blinded by the false love and affection that they receive, thinking that it is actually the real thing.

    The first warning sign was his awful relationship with his mother and his distrust of women. The second was his haste to marry after only a few months and his extremely romantic declarations. The third red flag was a type of disdain when I was not feeling well and could not visit him. He became cold and distant instead of caring.

    In the first few months of our courtship, he asked very little about my interests.Five months later, he said he did not know my last name. I was amazed but still continued on because he appeared to be a good father to his children by his previous marriage and had a decent job and values.

    But, I noticed that he would take short cuts. Something as simple as running red lights and speeding. Also, he had a horrible credit rating that he would not go into detail about.
    He was insanely jealous, accusing me of seeing other men and wearing provocative outfits. He traveled a lot and was never around much but expected me to drop everything when he came into town. And I did.

    In return, he took me on a few vacttions and did some household chores. I deferred marriage until I got to know him better. In the interim, “Mr. Romantic” never called or sent flowers for valentines day and also forgot my birthday and our anniversary. But still, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

    When we had passed a year of our relatioship, I noticed a difference in his mood. He was now taking anxiety pills and medicine for depression. He also voiced his disdain for his looks and refused to accompany me to any social functions or participate when I had friends in my home. Said he was not interested in meeting any of my friends. Although he had few if any of his own. But still I persisted making the excuse for his behaviour due to his sad childhood. I prayed a lot.

    Then, it happened. I discovered that he was seeing someone else. The evidence was indisputable. When I confronted him with it, he never affirmed or denied it. He did try to manipulate the betrayal by saying that he was happy but it was I who wanted the break up. He then categorically listed all of the things that he had done for me and promised to help if I ever needed it.

    I was sucked back in for a moment. Trying to rectify the break up and get him to at least discuss what he had done.
    Then, the credit card bills came in for charges that we had never agreed to. In retrospect, he had been with more than one woman in our relationship and lied continulously about it.
    A little research showed that he had a pattern of doing this for many years. I was saddened but relieved that I was spared a future with him.

    It was at that point that I thought there might be more to his bahaviour than what I had observed. It was then that I googled “sociopath.” I was shocked at the similarity in the definition and his personality traits. They were almost one and the same.

    So, when your gut tells you that he is not really what he seems, listen to it. Evaluate small things. Even those that are as simple as a man who gets a thrill out of running red lights.



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  7. hens says:

    Very well written post. Yes I also volunteered to be a victim. Lesson learned.



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  8. Ox Drover says:

    Dear Bluediamond,

    I second Henry’s opinion! WELL Written post! Glad you are here and thank you for sharing your experience.

    YOU are SOOOOO RIGHT! Watch for red flags and honor even simple ones!

    Again. Welcome! God bless.



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  9. shabbychic says:

    bluediamond, ditto to what hens and ox drover just wrote!

    😀



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