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Archive for July, 2010

Changing the presumption: Is a child really better off interacting with both parents?

Just Like His Father? Is nearly four years old now and my own son is nearly eight. At the time the book was released, scientists were still engaged in the genetics versus environment debate regarding the development of antisocial behavior. That debate is now over and every authority accepts that antisocial behavior and antisocial personality traits develop due to a gene-environment interaction. I am working on revising the book because now some specific genes have been identified.

Thankfully, I have not had to cope with the toxic environment a sociopath/psychopath creates for their offspring. Just Like His Father? doesn’t really grapple with that issue other than to encourage people to consider that the child may be better off with only one parent. At time the book was written, my thinking was based on two false premises. The first falsehood, I was taught in residency, “antisocial individuals abandon their young” has turned out to be perhaps the biggest problem at-risk children face. Antisocial individuals do not necessarily abandon their young, but they do abuse them and use them as pawns to damage other people and they also use them in their cons.

Life support

By Ox Drover

A thought struck me the other day as I was musing … many people today have at least thought about how they want things to proceed when they come toward the end of their lives. Do they want to be “kept on life support” with feeding tubes and ventilators and lying unconscious in an intensive care nursing unit?

Is that kind of “life” really anything but prolonging drying? Or, is it possible that if you stayed there with mechanical life support, that you might actually wake up and heal, and go on and enjoy more time in a healthy life? Many of us have made decisions which we have placed into “Living Wills” and have appointed someone to be our decision maker if we can’t make our own decision at the time. (BTW if you don’t have a living will which is legally valid, your nearest relative or your spouse will be automatically appointed.)

Love Fraud: A guide to taking back our lives

By Kathleen Hawk, author of the After the Sociopath: How Do We Heal? series on Lovefraud.

Donna Andersen is living proof that even the most successful, confident and assertive people can get emotionally entangled with a dangerous predator. Her story is a textbook case of how a professional con man can seduce his victim by offering her the dreams she has not yet achieved by herself. And then ups the ante of what she has to pay until the relationship becomes not just expensive, but destructive and toxic.

But this book is not about being a victim, but about being a victor. It covers three main topics. First the awful relationship, which followed a pattern that is familiar to anyone who has been sucked into a commitment with a predator. Then, the rude awakening, extrication and recovery. And finally, the exploration of his previous relationships and the work, sometime in collaboration with his previous victims, to seek repayment and revenge, as well as publicity and education to prevent future victims.

Cult leader’s rape conviction overturned

In 2007, Warren Jeffs, “prophet” of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, was convicted on two counts of rape as an accomplice. Prosecutors charged that he forced a 14-year-old girl to marry and have sex with her 19-year-old cousin. He was sentenced to two consecutive terms of five years to life.

Yesterday, the Utah Supreme Court threw out the conviction.

Read Victim in Jeffs case: ‘This is not the end” on CNN.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Staying safe on Facebook

Editor’s Note: Lovefraud received the following article from the reader in Australia who posts as “Dani S.”

I recently had the unfortunate experience of coming across another personality disorder, this time on Facebook. I love Facebook, as growing up in a small country town and moving to the city, Facebook has been a great place for me to reconnect with old school friends and to chat with them online.

I have always been very careful never to add friend request unless I know the person personally, so I thought that I was safe! Wrong!

I joined a group called “Dead Beat Dads.” The group had over 300 members, ranging from mothers, stepfathers and children of fathers that have experienced or are experiencing the frustration of fathers abandoning their financial and emotional responsibility to their children.

Antagonist

Bank executives get ‘ill-advised’ bonuses, and keep them

Keep these two thoughts in mind as you read this article:

First, Dr. Robert Hare estimates that 1 percent of people would be diagnosed as psychopaths using his Psychopathy Checklist-Revised. However, Dr. Hare also estimates that 3 percent of corporate executives are psychopaths. That means there are three times as many psychopaths in corner offices than there are in the general population.

Second, you can’t get a psychopath to do anything by appealing to his or her conscience, morals or sense of shame. The only way to possibly influence psychopathic behavior is consequences (and sometimes that doesn’t work either).

Knowing this, I was angry and frustrated to read this story in the paper a few days ago: Pay czar will not fight banks on $1.6B in exec pay.

Financial meltdown

Is redemption possible?

Last night Larry King Live of CNN hosted a discussion about whether criminals can be rehabilitated. I think it will be re-aired this weekend so try to watch. One of the guests drew a distinction between “learned” criminal behavior and psychopathy. She stated she believed that criminals who have learned to be that way can unlearn but psychopaths cannot be rehabilitated. I know many of you also hold this belief so I would like to tell you why I strongly disagree.

First I will tell you my position:

ALL criminality stems from an interaction between a person and a situation. A person is a product of his/her genetics and experiences. So in a sense what makes up personality (the “person”) is learned for everyone including the psychopathic. We are preprogrammed by our genetics to learn certain things better than others.

The foreign student and the con man

It’s a classic story of sociopathic brainwashing. A young woman comes from Korea to study at the University of Washington. She meets a guy online; he turns out to be a con man. The guy takes complete control of the woman’s money and her life—until he is finally arrested.

Read Con man accused of living off UW student for year, faking his own kidnapping, on SeattlePI.com.

Link provided by a Lovefraud reader.

Love Fraud: An inspiration to anyone who has been targeted by a sociopath

By ErinBrock

Get the book, get the book, get the book!!!!!!!

LOVE FRAUD: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, by Donna Andersen, is a must read for anyone left in pieces after a toxic relationship involving a sociopath. Survivors of sociopathic relationships are left wondering, “How did I get here?” and “Where do I go from here?” Donna’s book will give you insight into finding these answers and provide the inspiration to know …… it’s not over until the “fat” lady sings.

We can survive; we will recover! Trust the plan.

Donna Andersen is an inspiration to anyone who has been targeted by a sociopath. Follow Donna’s story and you will be compelled to pick yourself up and find your path to fulfillment and happiness.

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Delete yourself from the lie

A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.

It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.

Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….