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Dangers of online dating

1. Worldwide, there are 1.8 billion Internet users. It is reasonable to assume that, as in the general population, 1% to 4% of them are sociopaths. That means there between 14 million and 72 million sociopaths online—all trolling for victims.

2. Sociopaths target lonely people. If you’re looking for a relationship online, you are advertising the fact that you’re lonely. You are setting yourself up to be exploited.

3. When filling out an online dating profile, you provide information about yourself and what you are looking for. Sociopaths take the information and pretend to be the person of your dreams. They use the information that you posted to seduce you.

4. Sociopaths typically register on multiple dating sites simultaneously. They keep baiting the hook until someone bites.

5. The Internet is anonymous. It is impossible to know for sure with whom you are corresponding. Some people post gorgeous photos in their profiles, which are actually photos of models stolen from elsewhere on the Internet.

6. Experts believe that 65% to 90% of human communication is nonverbal—facial expressions, gestures, body language, tone of voice. That means in communication via the web or e-mail, 65% to 90% of the meaning is missing. With so much information missing, people interpret a communication to mean what they want it to mean.

7. Because communicating over the Internet is anonymous, it creates a sense of safety. You feel like you can confess your hopes and dreams to a stranger.

8. Sociopaths say what their targets want to hear. Often, the sociopaths are lying. But humans can detect a lie only 53% of the time—the same as flipping a coin.

9. So here’s what happens when you look for romance online:

  • You provide information about yourself by filling out the dating profile.
  • You communicate with someone, but 65% to 90% of the meaning is missing.
  • You pour out your heart and soul, and it feels good.
  • The person responds, and you interpret everything to mean what you want it to mean.
  • You fall in love with your own fantasy.

Print out Lovefraud’s Dangers of Online Dating.



135 Comments on "Dangers of online dating"

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  1. presseject says:

    One Step @ a Time, I wish the same things too for all of us… This has been quite a journey to have gotten this far when I think back, but worth all the trouble actually. I have always been good at escaping reality, and all it took at one time was to throw a “S” into my pathway and the escape-seeker in me would easily take the bait. Now I know that you can’t get any nutrition from fantasy food… it is the worst kind of junk food.

    I am still weeding my garden here btw, it isn’t just the S’s or P’s that used to be my weakness, it has also been other earthly diversions. My own personal list of diversions has been long, and I have begun to work on forgiving myself for letting myself get so lost. There comes a time when we have to lighten this load and forgive ourselves and the deep seated reasons in our past that caused us to seek our escapes. Otherwise, we remain susceptible I think, refusing to take responsibility for our lives and happiness. The struggle to gain back this sense of self is tremendous for some of us. The reason I am back here writing tonight has to do with a stage of recovery, a golden stage in which giving back the sense of hope I received here at LoveFraud in the early “crisis” days can now come full circle. This is all I can really offer here but maybe these words will be of help to someone, just like others with compassionate voices lifted me up here too… I am always most grateful.

    PressEject (who really doesn’t think so much of the crazy S ordeal very much these days!)

  2. OxDrover says:

    Dear Prress eject! Welcome home! Glad to see you again and to hear that you are doing well! I think we do owe a debt of gratitude to the Universe for what we received here at LF and that’s the beauty of it all! We can pass on the gift we have received!

  3. hens says:

    press eject – thanks for stopping by and sharing your new found wisdom and confidence, it is good to see others that know this place changed their lives if not saved them..i am with you on the not thinkin so much about the s ordeal anymore – in case your wonderin this is Henry and i am doing very well….thanks again for sharing with everyone, specially the peeps that come here in the same shape we were in two years ago…peace

  4. Buttons says:

    PressEject, bless your heart! Your healing path gives me hope! And, the “earthly diversions” list in my life is long, as well. Thank you for your uplifting comments. Doing the “hard” work ain’t easy, but it sure beats laying down in front of the trolley! BRIGHTEST blessings!!!!

  5. presseject says:

    Voices of support, rays of hope… Oxy, Henry, Buttons, thank you for your warm words. Henry, I remember reading of your journey here. I recall we were both put through the same kind of hell (“ordeal” is just not strong enough a word) at about the same time two years ago. There are others here that were also going through very similar raw phases of recovery at about the same time too. Donna, for her part, in addition to all she does at the site, acknowledged my struggle and posted a couple of letters I had shared with her. I had felt so very alone with the pain but with the effort I mustered to reach out and find help (and not be afraid to let go some of what was being kept inside of me), I found a way to go forward again in my life.

    Each of the comments people shared with me after I reached out helped me to bear the weight of the emotional (and spiritual) crisis. But it was also many others before me (here at this site) that also helped me to open up and reach out for support and understanding. So I am also grateful to those others that had been sharing their personal stories and insights at the time I found this site. This is why it occurs to me to return here, to share a little of what I can with the idea that perhaps a bit of my story (especially the peace I have found after a long struggle) might help others too, just the way others helped me here at that critical time.

    I read how kind souls are struggling just like I did two years ago when I was smack dab in the middle of the worst storm. It will be difficult to ever forget the kind of hypervigilance I went through, the many days and months of painful emotions and difficult realizations as I emerged from the abuse. But these are only memories now and the emotions are no longer attached to them. Lovefraud was my daily, (sometimes hourly!) therapy. It was a gift that was waiting to be found, and I grabbed it. So, as a personal testimony to those that might be in the midst of their own storms right now, the message I can offer is this… have faith. Be strong, fight to get your feet back on the ground, do what you need to to find support (it is here) and trust God (and the gift of a new awareness) to shelter you from evil, work with this Higher power within you to conquer the destruction that lays in the past. A new day is here.

    Bless you all,

    PressEject.

  6. Buttons says:

    Bless you, PressEject, and thank GOD for Donna and Lovefraud.com!

  7. sweetcynic says:

    There are P’s online and offline. For some reason churches seem to be a breeding ground for P’s – Maybe it’s the trusting environment or something, but that’s where my mom met her P ex-boyfriend. Nothing to do with religion, just that people in churches tend to be very trusting. Warning signs I’ve noticed in the online version:

    -Claims to make a six-figure income(most people who actually do tend not to enjoy advertising it)
    - Blatantly ignores your parameters(ex one probable P winked me twice – his profile said 38, his picture looked mid-forties, and my age range was 23-31 as I’m 25)
    - Claims an education level or job inconsistent with their grammar

    Beyond that, I would only use the online feature as a basic screen for whether I want to meet someone, not as a substitute for meeting them. Also, my motto: If you’re sure they’re P, you’ve been around them WAY too long. Get out while you’re still in the “Is this person P or just a lying manipulative jerk?” phase which can sometimes be determined in weeks but more often a few months. I seem to be a magnet for older men who I’m not into for some reason. I knew one who knew I was in a long distance relationship and wanted me to cheat with him. Was he P? Probably not, just an alcoholic womanizer. But I still didn’t want to date someone like him.

  8. czarinamom says:

    Ladies, be careful. My ex is out there on Plenty of Fish – Ray from Plainfield NJ. He is lying. A friend called him and he said he was divorced for 6 – 7 years (lie – it’s now 5) – he has never and will never be into internet porn (lie – he had/has his own profile and sends pictures all over the internet) – he is desperate for a new woman – his ex-wife is forcing him to sell the house they jointly own and his own job is in jeopardy – (he lied on the health check)….. BEWARE!!! He is charming in person. BEWARE. He cheated on his wife and he cheated on me (even though he will never admit that)….

  9. chinagirl says:

    Hi-I was reading the posts above from April and someone asked a question about sex addiction. My xspath is a sex addict/internet porn addict….seriously impacted out marriage, obviously!

    But for anyone interested in learning more about sex addiction Patrick Carnes has written some good books. Hens mentioned Out of the Shadows, which is a great book. Patrick Carnes has a website called sexhelp.com and there are links and a lot of info there as well. Just an fyi

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