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Sociopaths violate all human values

As part of my day job—writing scripts for web-based training programs—I came across some information developed by the Institute for Global Ethics. Surveys conducted worldwide have consistently identified a group of values that people of all cultures and nationalities recognize as essential. These universal values are:

  • Honesty
  • Responsibility
  • Respect
  • Fairness
  • Compassion

Sociopaths violate all of them.

Perhaps that’s why those of us who are ethical, who care about others, who want to live cooperatively among our neighbors, feel so shaken after a collision with a sociopath. These predators take the qualities that people all over the world consider essential to the social contract and stomp on them, run them through a meat grinder and then pulverize them.

But they don’t tell us what they’re going to do. (Or if they do, we think they can’t possibly be serious.) Instead, they mouth eloquent words about their loyalty, trustworthiness and caretaking. We believe the words. Eventually, however, we discover that the words are empty, and their behavior reveals their true attitude: To them, the universal values of humanity mean nothing.

Then we, trying to extricate ourselves from the sociopathic relationship, lose our footing. We suspect that no one really cares about honesty, responsibility, respect, fairness and compassion. We were the only chumps who took these qualities seriously.

The good news is that we were right in the first place—most people in the world do respect the universal values. As we heal from our traumatic experiences, we’ learn how to differentiate those who do from the sociopaths who don’t.



140 Comments on "Sociopaths violate all human values"

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  1. grey2 says:

    thank you :hugs: It’s good to have people can understand cause most people i’m around it’s hard to explain to them what I went through and how he was. my situation was very complicated and they weren’t in my position so its hard for them to understand but thanks again and It’s making me down cause I have to distance my self from his brother and some of my friends. It’s been almost three months now and I think I’m doing much better than before so I’m glad I found this site 🙂 thanks again



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  2. OxDrover says:

    Dear GRey2,

    It will get easier, I can promise you, but the only way you can make my promise come true is to read about and learn about these people. It is like they are cut out by a “cookie cutter” in many ways, there are so many things that are similar in the way they behave, but the main thing is that theyy don’t care about YOU.

    It is also difficult to distance yourself from mutual friends and so on, but at least for a while it will make it easier on you, especially if you can just stay away from him, NO contact. Don’t listen to his lies to hook you in again. It’s all about controlling you. That seems to be what they most get off on.

    Most of us here have also found our friends don’t understand either, that seems to be almost a “given” and that is why we are here with people who DO understand, to help support each other. You are not the crazy one–you are not the bad one, yet the psychopaths try to make us the crazy and the bad ones. We don’t have to accept that. We don’t have to believe them, or even listen to them. Going NO contact gives YOU back your control. It means you won’t let him hurt you any more. ((((HUGS)))) Come back here often and learn more, the key to me seems to be to be able to figure them out and to recognize the next one when you see him or her. They are not an endangered species, unfortunately. Good luck.



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  3. kat_o_nine_tales says:

    Hi everybody. I was just reading over some of the posts here.
    Tami…major wowz on the random write. I want to send it to my ex-boyfriend/heartbreaker..but i won’t

    LOL at the sociopath island.. and at gentle Henry as hitman.



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  4. OxDrover says:

    Kat, there are impulses to send them all kinds of things—tell them off letters, articles, etc. I am not sure that URGE ever goes away…recently when we accomplished keeping the Trojan Horse P from getting parole and got legal possession of the money and the vehicle he stole, I SO WANTED TO WRITE HIM AND GLOAT, to let him KNOW I accomplished this. After his arrest, he sat in the court room and SMIRKED at me. Oh, I would love to wipe that smirk off his face…to LET HIM KNOW…but I WON’T.

    I think as long as I have that URGE, I need to work on my healing more, to work on ME, and the first thing I have to do is to NOT GIVE IN TO THE URGE. That is the FIRST step, but not the only one I need to make. Hopefully, the time will come when I don’t have that urge for ALL of the Ps in my life. I no longer feel the urge to tell my P-son off, or even to know what is going on with him in his life, ditto the DIL, and even with my mother, but I DO still feel that urge with the Trojan Horse, so I think I need to work on that aspect of my healing. He is OUT of my life, can’t hurt me any more, and I have gotten as much justice as the law will allow, so I need to let the emotions go to “tell him off.” I need to stop letting that court-room smirk irritate me as long as it does, I am still “renting him space” inside my head. Giving him the power to irritate me.



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  5. behind_blue_eyes says:

    “Dodged_A_Bullet says:
    Process this:

    The sociopath that lied to me about his HIV status, and put me at risk by exposing me, has this as his signature block (and was added after the fact):

    “Respect for self, respect for others, and responsibility for your actions.”

    How warped is that!? ”

    Mine did not expose me to HIV, as we were “moving slowly.” I found out after he left me.

    Never once mentioned the subject and when I had my own concerns — I was dumped the next day

    Interestingly, his online dating is via a mainstream website with a relatively small number of gay members, He does not overtly indicate he is HIV+, but after reviewing his neary 700 “matching questions” I realized he is HIV+.

    Most gay people on Facebook have a link to or are a member of some HIV/AIDS group, such as Red Ribbon. Not Jamie.

    Our first real date was in World AIDS Day. No comment from him.



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