Another year is coming to an end. A new year will soon begin.
For some of us, 2007 was a year of awakening. Something happened, something clicked, which made us realize that we needed to take a stand for ourselves. A person who waltzed into our lives with promises of unending happiness was a pathological liar. He or she was driving a spike into our hearts, oblivious to the pain it caused. Perhaps even delighting in the pain.
For others of us, 2007 was another step on our journey toward healing. Maybe we learned that all we could do was accept that the sociopath will never change. Maybe we processed and released some of our emotional trauma. Maybe we realized, via Lovefraud, that we are not alone. Maybe we finally began to believe that we can recover.
Healing the wounds
Let me be clear on this: If you have escaped the sociopath alive, you can recover. It may take time. It may be difficult. But it is possible.
The most important recovery work is internal. The gash in our hearts, the deep emotional and spiritual wound, must be healed. In my opinion, in order to do it, we must allow ourselves to feel the pain. This is not pretty. I remember being crumbled in a heap in the hallway of my home, crying and wailing loudly, while my dog tried desperately to comfort me. It happened over and over, as layer after layer of the pain surfaced. But once the pain surfaces and is experienced, it can be released, never to return. Eventually the pain is gone, and the wound is healed.
In fact, not only the wound caused by the sociopath, but the wounds we carried before the sociopath can be healed. These are the heartaches and fears that made us vulnerable to the predator in the first place. As several Lovefraud readers have noted in their comments, if there is any value from the experience, it is that the encounter with the sociopath makes us look at ourselves and realize that we are far more than we thought we were.
Thank you all
A reader recently wondered if there were people who were reading the Lovefraud Blog without commenting. The answer is a resounding yes. Lovefraud averages 1,100 visitors every single day. Our web logs register more than 1 million hits per month. More than 700 people have sent e-mail to Lovefraud describing their encounters with a sociopath. Many, many people thank Lovefraud for finally explaining the insanity in their lives.
I am in awe of what Lovefraud has become.
I thank the Lovefraud authors—Dr. Liane Leedom, M.L. Gallagher, and our newest author, Dr. Steve Appel. I also thank the many, many readers who have contributed stories and posted such thoughtful comments. Sometimes, as I read your words, I am humbled by the depth of your insights and the strength of your caring. Thank you all so much.
The Lovefraud authors will be taking a two-week break for the holidays. We’ll be back to posting after the New Year.
Between now and then, you’ll see some modifications to the Lovefraud Blog— I’ll be adding more categories covering narrower topics. With 194 posts and 1,407 comments, the blog is rich in information. The new categories will help you find the information you need more quickly.
Happy holidays to all of you, and I wish you healing and joy in 2008.