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By September 30, 2007 17 Comments Read More →

With sociopaths, financial precautions don’t matter

Lovefraud.com has posted a new case study: Pilot romances his co-worker, gets her to buy him a plane. Yes, it’s true. Lance Larabee, who lives near Seattle, Washington, convinced Debbie White, who lives near Chicago, Illinois, to go into business with him. He had the idea; she had the money—her recent divorce settlement. All he needed was a plane, a boat, a conversion van and money to clear up some debts.

The business never got off the ground. Five and a half years later, White learned that she had essentially bought Larabee toys—big, expensive toys that he apparently used to impress other women. Her money was gone, and she had nothing to show for it.

In fact, she was more than $100,000 in debt.

Protecting her interests

The scary thing about this story is that Debbie White took steps to protect her financial interests. The business was properly incorporated by a lawyer. She filed federal tax forms. Concerned about personal liability in case of a plane accident, White removed herself as an owner of the aircraft, and limited her position to a secured interest.

Larabee put his commitments in writing. He signed three promissory notes, drawn up by lawyers and notarized. He signed two of them after it was clear that there would be no business. He promised to pay White back, with interest.

None of it mattered.

When White finally realized what was going on, she took Larabee to court. She won a judgment against him for nearly $233,000. But it was almost useless. He had no assets that she could attach. White is garnishing the guy’s wages, but it is going to take a very long time for her to break even.

Sociopaths don’t pay

I also won in court. I proved that my ex-husband, James Montgomery, defrauded me. The judge awarded me everything that he had taken—$227,000—plus $1 million in punitive damages. I collected a grand total of $517.

Many sociopaths live in a pyramid scheme, robbing one person to pay the next. Or, they don’t bother to pay anyone, no matter how many promissory notes they sign. Even when they have assets—think O.J. Simpson—they do everything possible to avoid paying any judgments.

In a way, it makes me long for the good old days of debtors’ prisons. But that wouldn’t work either. The sociopaths would talk their way out of trouble, and the poor men and women who got fleeced would end up in jail.

The sociopaths, meanwhile, would just move on to their next victims.

On the record

Unlike most people who get conned, Debbie White did not go quietly. She was brave enough to tell her story, on the record. I believe this is a very important. People all over the country, and the world, are being swindled in sweetheart scams all the time. But because most are too embarrassed to talk about it, everyone else doesn’t know the magnitude of the problem.

Millions of sociopaths are out there, sweet-talking victims into next scam. Not knowing it costs a lot of people a lot of money.



17 Comments on "With sociopaths, financial precautions don’t matter"

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  1. geminigirl says:

    Its not only husbands and lovers who swindle you out of money. My 45 year old spath daughter has swindled me out of thousands and thousands of dollars, either by direct con tricks, lies, crocodile tears, or pity ploys. She has taken my last $450 in the world, -later I found out she didint even need it.
    Over the last 4 years I have baled her out to the tune of over $10,000 . At LEAST prob. more.I recently found out that she embezzled over A$62,000 from a company she worked for, -they have “forgiven ” her $50,000 of this, I cant understand why! I gave her a gift of $1,000 when she married, and was then banned from the wedding, for no reason.As well, she has destroyed thousands of dollars worth of furniture, clothes, paintings and books, when she and her drunk friends trashed my home in 1980.I need a daughter like this WHY? Ive been NC with her now for nearly 9 months, and I miss her less each day. She is BAD NEWS!!A liar, a cheat, a con artist, a swindler, and a thief.She wont change, I know that now. My heart has been broken so many times it looks like a Mosaic!She confuses kindness for weakness, and she thinks Im a stupid stooge. No MORE!!She is BAD NEWS!!I used to wory about her all the time, sending he r money to pay the rent when she lost yet another job,HELL shes 45! A middle aged woman very soon! All her messes are of her own making ! She thinks shes so smart, so superior, I noticed she always surrounds herself with dumbasses, who look up to her.She still looks good for her age, but for how long? What happens when her looks fade, and she runs out of sucker to con? I have been kidding myself she loved me for SO long, I know now she despises me, hated me, and devalues me.And you know what? Im starting to HATE HER for the years of HELL on earth shes put me through. I cant remember one single loving thing shes ever done for me, not one. I couldnt win. If I lovingly prepared a nice roast dinner, for example, shed go out and buy junk food for her kids. If I bought more junky type food, ie, sausages, chips, etc, shed say theyd already eaten and they didnt eat that kind of food.her hous e was always a pig sty, but if she came over, shed pointedly dust the table off as if I was filthy housewife. I used to run around, cooking, looking after the kids, playing with them, while Madam used to sit and reasd magazines, and order coffee . She let the kids eat at the table with filthy hands,and even let the boy eat with his hands!I felt like the maid. In 25 years since I married David, she hasnt brought as much as a packet of biscuits into my home. She never used to talk to me, just read mags, its like I was her servant.What a contrast with our Iranian “kids” At Xmas, they brought the best champagne,{Moet!} flowers, and a home made cake, a card with “To the best Mum in the whole of the wide world!’ written on it.
    I felt like Id died and gone to heaven! We are hugged and kissed, and made much of. Something D never did.I used to feel sorry for her, Something is definitley missing!As for the othe rdaughter, she will be 44 next week, havent seen her in 17 years, never once been allowed to see her 3 kids. Its heartbreaking. She isa cruel,,hard, snobby little thing. Dave and I have been wiped from her life. Love, to all, Gem.XXX



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  2. shabbychic says:

    gem, is this the post you are looking for?



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  3. Rosie says:

    THanks Midlife , you are right about everything there, and my lawyer totally agrees. Yep shes a tough woman alright judging by the letter she drafted the other day….when I sat down and read it, it really drives home how much I helped him! Just seeing it in black and white.

    And it sure makes settling at the price I am asking a much easier option than going to court!

    Like you get a second opinion, and I did do that as my previous lawyer was a little inexperience and was about to leave me shortchanged.

    Actually you have highlighted something I had overlooked – how much money he spent on boozing and doing up his stupid old holden ute. I was preg/breastfeeding so easy to prove I was not involved in the boozing.

    Cheers heaps for that matey!

    Hope things are well with you?



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  4. Rosie says:

    Yes gemini something is definitely ‘missing’ that’s how I refer to it too. Does she take after a relative?
    How hurtful it must be to be treated like that by the person bore in pain and nurtured and gave up so much for. Both daughters even!

    I really try to appreciate my teenage daughter as she is lovely and sweetnatured.

    But I do worry about my 2 yr old son’s future and hope whatever gene his father interited from his own father has been watered down by now.



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  5. midlifecrisis says:

    Hey Rosie – yes I am on my second lawyer now – a woman rather than the first man who gave me inept advice and didn;t tell me my entitlements. You raise a good point about proving who spent the money – I have all the financial statements going right back to the beginning and had the foresight to not pay bills in cash so there is an electronic trail for everything. Had I not had them, banks can print out ten yrs of back statements for a small fee for each one 🙂 Something to always bear in mind.

    Like you I am making an offer and hoping I don’t have to go to court to get this settled. However, if I do have to go then he will get to see that Hell really hath no fury like a woman spathed lol I will fight dirty and expose his pathology on public record for his new gal including all the domestic abuse I suffered. I hope he sees some sense and just agrees – I’ve had enough of it all. The legal aspects are just horrible to have to deal with on top of everything else. So it’s a bit of a stressful time, but I am managing …



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  6. ErinBrock says:

    Midlife:
    YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!

    YOU GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

    Keep working at it…..it’ll work out….it WILL!



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  7. midlifecrisis says:

    Thanks Erin – it gives me hope to k now about your story and how you kicked some serious ass!!!



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