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The cardinal sign of sociopathy: Every sociopath ______!

Lovefraud receives many letters from people who want a sign. Readers ask, “How do I know whether or not someone is a sociopath?” There is one behavior that every sociopath engages in to extreme excess. If I were only allowed one criteria for the diagnosis I would choose this behavior. If someone does not do this thing to extreme excess he/she is certainly not a sociopath. Those of you who have been involved with a sociopath know too well what this one thing is. It is lying.

I enjoy reading old religious texts because I believe there is truly nothing new under the sun. It is comforting to get reassurance of that fact. I mentioned some time ago that female sociopaths are described in the Bible. The cardinal symptom of sociopathy is described best in the Babylonian Talmud! One source I found dated this document to the 6th century.

The Babylonian Talmud describes something called geneivat da’at (literally, theft of one’s mind, thoughts, wisdom, or knowledge), i.e., fooling someone and thereby causing him or her to have a mistaken assumption, belief, and/or impression. The sages believed that there are seven types of thieves and, of these, the most egregious is the one who “steals the minds” of people.

Anyone who has been in contact with a sociopath has had his/her mind stolen. Sociopaths do not interact with anyone without stealing a mind.

Although sociopaths are very proud of their ability to steal minds, this behavior does not make them unique, talented or special. Sociopaths are just the worst species of thief!

Many are baffled by the lying sociopaths engage in. A reader who wrote me recently commented that they lie even when the truth sounds better. Sociopaths continue to lie even after their lies are discovered. This often makes them look silly.

Sociopaths lie in order to steal the minds of others. They do this because of an unrestrained drive for power and control. This drive is present in all of their dealings with others.

The best thing to do if your mind has been stolen by a sociopath is Take it Back! Don’t have any more interactions with that person. Accept that you can never deal with a sociopath without experiencing the theft of your mind.



151 Comments on "The cardinal sign of sociopathy: Every sociopath ______!"

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  1. Ox Drover says:

    Dear moving, I’m with Skylar, YOU DID GREAT! TOWANDA!! That’s our Love Fraud war cry from the movie “Friend Green Tomatoes” LOL

    Seriously, the little rock in your pocket is a GREAT IDEA!!!! Keep it up, you are doing well, and it WILL be difficult seeing him, and he will eventually try to get you off to yourself to talk to you, AVOID that at all costs, and if necessary and he gets you trapped, tell him, CALMLY and FLATLY, “leave me alone, NOW!” then turn and walk away.



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  2. Louise says:

    moving past the facade:

    Yes, you did a great job! I can see why he was a little puzzled. It probably seemed a bit odd to him why you were acting so coldly.

    Of course it’s going to be hard. I think I mentioned that a long time ago when I wrote how hard it’s going to be to go No Contact or even gray rock as long as you have to work with him. Every time you see him, you are going to have all these emotional feelings, but there is really nothing you can do. I would be a mess if I had to do that. Outwardly very strong, but inside a mess. Keep us updated please…



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  3. darwinsmom says:

    Towanda, Moving!

    Don’t feel bad or guilty about crying or sad or hurt. Sky’s right. Plan some private area to breakdown where you can allow yourself to feel that way.

    I would literally throw a “pity-party”: tearjerker movie, bottle, hankies, a friend, ice-cream or chocolate cake… the whole shabang. Aside from crying in each other’s arms we’d also end up laughing our heads off over it though. In a way, by doing it this way, I actually didn’t feel as miserably lonely that way. And I could function.



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  4. moving past the facade says:

    Thanks all. I already feel better. I will not let him see me break down, again. When it all started to unravel, I broke down in front of him more than once….’I hate to see you like this, I just want to hold you’. No, buddy, you don’t hate it..you love it, you feed on it. No more soul food from me.

    I scheduled my first therapy appointment today, and started reading ‘The Sociopath Next Door’. First chapter and already so much insight.



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  5. Ox Drover says:

    Dear moving….keep on reading…if you haven’t done donna’s book Red Flags of Love Fraud, do it next, then Without Conscience by Dr. Robert Hare..then SNAKES IN SUITS WHEN PSYCHOPATHS GO TO WORK by Hare and another guy…I think the SNAKES book will be very good for you considering your situation.

    Good job, keep on reading and learning and growing! (((hugs)))



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  6. Truthspeak says:

    Moving, TOWANDA!!!! See? You did fine!

    I know that it’s difficult because our past experiences with the spaths have caused us to react and attempt to predict, but that can really lead to severe anxiety – at least, it does for me. I’ve always attempted to predict bad outcomes because it’s been a conditioned “response” to any given situation. In spite of spaths’ guarantees and promises, things never were “better,” so why should I expect ANYthing to be okay? It’s taken some time, but I’m not as much of a panic-junkie, anymore. Doesn’t mean that I still don’t panic, but it’s just NOT as often, not as intense, and not of such great duration.

    GOOD GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Brightest blessings



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  7. Sunflower says:

    Moving,

    TOWANDA! You showed real strenght! Very inspiring! Thank you for sharing 🙂



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