Recently I was hired to write a script for a video on Mammography. While working on the voice-overs, the actress hired to do the narration kept stumbling on one line. I knew it sounded awkward but was having trouble changing it. The Director and I looked at the sentence — The fact that the screening mammogram might have saved her life, is not a myth. It’s a fact.
“It’s the word, fact. It appears twice in the sentence and makes it awkward,” I said.
We struggled for some minutes to think of a word to replace it with, but couldn’t find one that fit.
“We can’t change the last two phrases,” I said. “They have to go together because that’s the power statement. It’s not a myth. It’s a fact. We’ve got to find another word for ‘fact’ at the beginning of the sentence.