Sociopaths are dangerous
Tips on protecting yourself

Realizing you are involved with a sociopath may make you feel numb, even nauseous. For the moment, don't dwell in those emotions. And don't confront him or tell him that you know what he is. Instead, you must act quickly and decisively to protect yourself. This is also true if the sociopath is a woman.

Here are some tips to consider, but you should seek professional advice. Every situation is different; only you know exactly what you are facing.

Physical safety

If you are living with the sociopath and he is violent, leave as quickly as possible. If you do not live with him you may want to:

• Change your locks.
• Install a security system.
• Change your phone numbers, including your cell phone.
• Buy an answering machine and screen all calls.
• If you are stalked, tell the police, your family and friends.

Financial security

Many sociopaths find victims who will support them financially. If you're in this situation and the sociopath realizes that you're on to the game, he or she may decide it's time to take the money and run. Don't let this person get whatever money you still have.

• Change passwords to accounts.
• Close your personal bank accounts—consider the possibility that he or she may have already stolen blank checks from you.
• Close credit accounts that lists him or her as an authorized user.
• Put blocks on any other financial accounts.
• If the sociopath has convinced you to invest in projects, do what you can to get your money out (if there is any left).
• If he or she has stolen from you or forged your signature on documents, file reports with the police.

Legal battles

Sociopaths are skilled at using the judicial system to torment their victims. If you are going to court with a sociopath, you must anticipate that he or she will lie. Unless you can prove otherwise, he or she will put on a convincing act and get away with it.

• Document everything—preferably not on a computer that can be hacked. Write down exactly what happens and when. Save every relevant piece of paper.
• If he or she injures you or your children, get the injuries documented by a doctor. Take photographs.
• Buy a hand-held tape recorder and use it to record verbal statements and threats.
• Attorneys—make sure your lawyer understands how sociopaths operate and is up to the challenge. Also, be aware that the sociopath may keep dragging you into court on frivolous matters—it's another way to bleed you. The time may come when you have to weigh the costs and benefits.
• Proceed under the assumption that the sociopath will disregard any agreement or judgment.
• If you file criminal charges against him or her, you should be prepared to follow through. If you drop the charges, it will be like giving the predator permission to violate you again.

Knowledge is power

Know what you are dealing with. Read everything you can about this character disorder. For more information, check out the Lovefraud Recommended links page. And there are hundreds of helpful articles in the Lovefraud Blog.

Finally, never underestimate a sociopath.